Are We Even Repairable?
by freezethemoment
Summary: This story takes place before the epilogue of Mockingjay. After two Hunger Games and the ending of a rebellion can Katniss and Peeta find their way back to each other? After loosing so many loved one's under Snow's power, are they even repairable? Will both of them be forced to think of life without the other? Can they accept the losses and repair the unrepairable?
1. Coming Back To 12

**Hey Everybody! I have decided to start a new fanfiction idea! I feel like me, and all my readers hearts' weren't really into the last story I started. I think that there is more I can do with this story! If you guys like this one let me know! Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction!**

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I remind myself that my first day back in twelve will be the hardest. As soon as I lay eyes on what remains of victor's village and take a deep breath in and walk along the pathway. My ankles feel like twigs as if they will collapse under me at any moment. I carry with me a small bag. It has Peeta's pearl and the picture frame of my mother and father on their wedding day. I wear the locket that_ Peeta_ gave me. I haven't spoken to Peeta in such a long time it pains me to think about him. My feet clack along the pathway and I keep my eyes focused on each step I take. I twist the gold doorknob and turn it slowly, I knew some people from thirteen had come to clean and "Katniss-proof" the house. While I'm allowed to live by myself in the house, I still am always under the "watchful" eye of Haymitch. If you would even call it that, he's drunk half the time, once he heard word of Effie's death in the rebellion he chooses to block out almost everything. The other half of the time he constantly brings up Peeta. I know that I'm broken and bitter and I have come to accept that, and I'm working on accepting the fact I have lost everybody in my life, except the drunk, and a confused Peeta.

I step inside of what is to be called my house. Even though I feel out of place in it; especially without my little sister, Prim, running around it's emptier than ever. I think back to the poverty of twelve and how I envied Haymitch for living in these houses for years, while I hunted with Gale to barely get by. Gale. That's one thing I haven't even bothered thinking about until I was back in twelve. Once I realized it was his bomb that killed Prim, I knew I could never forgive him. That was for sure._ But is there a part of me that wants that friendship back_? I drop my bag of items and fall to my knees, I clasp the sides of my head and push. I can't even have the thought of Gale in my head without terrible flashbacks of Prim's death. My hair is coming out of its braid and that's when I entertain the thought that maybe I am completely mentally insane.

"Let's get you off the floor sweetheart." Haymitch pulls me back to my feet and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I don't say a single word to him; instead I rest my head on his shoulder and cry silently. Haymitch has been through all the terrible things in my life beside of me, so he knows that by me not fighting back speaks more than the few words I ever chose to murmur since they told me I would be coming back to twelve. Haymitch manages to pull me back to the bedroom, which I assume is to be called mine. He sets me on top and strokes my hand. _What the heck is this? Who is this man? This is certainly not the Haymitch I know._

"How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"Fine."

Haymitch's age shows for a moment and he quickly removes the creases from his forehead.

"Stay like that. In a few days, our new neighbor will be joining us?"

I look at him with a confused expression and he nods.

"Peeta will be coming back to twelve in three days."

"No!" I sit up quickly and it makes my head spin a little.

"He has to heal sometime. And for that to happen he needs to be back in twelve. He needs to be with you."

"You better shut up right now you old bag!"

He just shakes his head in disappointment, and walks towards the doorway.

"Three days sweetheart. Ready or not here he comes."

He half laughs and I hear the front door click shut. I scan the room and analyze Haymitch's words a little more carefully. _Peeta will be coming home to twelve…in three days. He must want to see me or else he wouldn't bother coming back? Right? We're both damaged beyond repair I know. But is it completely ridiculous to hope that maybe…just maybe, our broken hearts can heal together? No they __**can't**__._

Seeing the boy from district two, Cato, being ripped apart by the mutts that haunt my dreams every night can eventually be healed. Watching the old woman from district four, Mags, in the quarter quell can be healed with my consoling, and time. Watching my best friend, The Great Finnick Odair, being torn apart by some sort of lizard mutts during the war…will take my entire life to heal, but eventually can be mended. Running towards my little sister, Prim, and watching her explode before my eyes, and having Peeta, the one I thought I loved, strangle me and yell vile things at me. **Unrepairable**.

I swing my feet off the bed and off to the side and walk to the front door. I pull on the latch and begin to realize the real reason several people, including Beetee, were really doing in my house. The door is locked and is not budging. I rest my foot against the door and try pulling, it still won't move. I walk to the huge window ceil in what must be the living room and sit down. The sun is setting and it scares me how much the presence of Peeta surrounds me at this moment. I keep the pearl in my hand and rub it. It's still smooth and helps to relieve some of the tense muscles in my back. I breathe out a sigh of relief for the first time since…I don't even remember. I rest my head on the window and feel myself drifting off to sleep. I hold my knees close to my chest. _Is it possible you'll be ready for your reunion with Peeta in three short days?_ "You're crazy Katniss. Absolutely crazy…" I fall asleep quickly, and sleep soundly for about an hour or so.

* * *

"Peeta! Please stop running!" For somebody with only one leg he sure can run quickly, and I've always been the nimble one. _What happened_? I feel short of breath quickly and hunch over. I am back in my woods, the familiar sights and smells ensure me that everything will be okay, if I can just get Peeta to come back to me."Please don't leave me. You can't do this to me. You can't just leave me, Please Peeta." I fall onto my knees and that's when I see Peeta barreling back towards me, he seems much larger than I remember. He falls on top of me and kisses me all over my face. And I feel a smile tugging at my lips. _For the first time I feel…happy_? As fast as the happiness came, is just as suddenly it vanished.

Peeta's large hands are wrapped around my neck and I can't breathe. I hold onto his shoulders and try to bring him back to me. I shake my head vigorously and hope he'll release me so I can get away. Just as my world begins fading out I am released. Peeta walks a couple paces away from me and bends over and yells out loudly as if he's in pain. Despite how scared I am of him in this moment I can't help but crawl towards him. I rest my hand on his shoulder and when his head snaps around, it's no longer Peeta's face. But Snow's…but in the form of a mutt from the first games. The leaves crinkle under him as he rises up to his massive size. I try screaming but nothing comes out. I try running away but when I see the object inside of his mouth I know I won't be going anywhere.

"Prim!"

"Katniss! Katniss! I'm scared. Please don't let him hurt me. Help!"

The tears fall out of Prim's sweet face at an alarming rate. Her perfect porcelain skin has turned bright red from her constant kicking and screaming.

"Prim! I'm coming!"

I try to raise to my feet and grab the bow that lays a few feet in front of me…it's just sitting there mocking me. But it's as if my knees are nailed to the ground.

"Katniss!"

"I'm trying! I swear I'm trying!"

I begin crying and desperately reaching for the bow. I lay my hand on it and pull it into my hands, I aim it at the Snow mutt's eye and that's when the mutt bites down on my sister's abdomen. She is still and unmoving; the amount of blood ensures that the single blow has killed her.

* * *

I wake up soaked in my own sweat. I am shaking and can barely move my feet to stand up. As soon as I make it to my feet I collapse and have to pull myself to the bathroom. I rip off my clothes and click the basic shower button and thankfully the shower does the cleaning for me. Before I can bother to reflect on the horrifying nightmare, the water has turned off and I have regained some strength into my legs. I walk into my room and pull on the first thing I see in my drawers and crawl into bed half dressed. My hair is soaking the entire mattress, and it only adds to my chills. I pull the blanket over my face while I try to block out the images of Prim that won't stop replaying through my head. The final moments before I either pass out or fall asleep is when I bother to think about Peeta.

_He is not to be trusted. And I most defiantly know that, the part of my heart he used to claim as his own is gone. I can never heal from the images of him almost killing me, and knowing that his attacks will never go away completely, ensures that we are both too broken for love…or even friendship._

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"Wake up kid!" I crack my eyes open slowly and when I see Haymitch's sober face I want to do nothing but shoot him through the eye. I groan and turn my back to him. "You need to get up. I was told to do some kind of test on you." I pull the sheets over my head to block out all the sunlight Haymitch has let into my cave. He rips the sheets back and lifts me into his arms. "Forgot the pants? Did we now?"

Haymitch is the person I care least in the world about seeing me in my underwear in a t-shirt. After all he had to be in the room for all my physicals, despite how uncomfortable it makes him he has become immune to it in the last week with me in thirteen. He tosses me some yoga pants and a clean blue shirt. "Get dressed." I do as I'm told reluctantly, I braid my hair back and Haymitch puts on some socks and shoes on my feet. He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me to my feet. "Well don't you look pretty today?" I turn to the mirror and see the black bags under my eyes and red splotchy face. I death glare Haymitch and follow him into a spare room with a table and two chairs.

"Sit." I roll my eyes and fall into one of the seats.

"How are you feeling?"

"Does my face not explain enough?"

Haymitch moans out in frustration,

"Really? You can cut the bull. Just because something's not right in that thick mockingjay head of yours doesn't mean you can take what I'm doing for you for granted."

"I'm fine." _Because I'm gonna tell you what I'm feeling. While Haymitch may be the only one that can pull a single word out of me, doesn't mean I confide in him by any means._

"You're fine?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure…because you sure as Panem don't look it."

"Who are you to judge what I'm feeling!"

"Fine! You say that you're okay, I'm to believe you correct?"

"Exactly. Now get out!"

He shakes his head in disapproval and slams the front door. I run after him and pull at the front door and it's again locked. I yell out and fall onto the couch and cram some food into my mouth. It's more of a mashed up vegetable but it's still filling. I close my eyes and try to block out the world, this last for what I guess to be about two hours. I look out my favorite window ceil and let my eyes wander at the outdoors, the want I had to explore them years ago, has vanished since the end of the war, the want for the outdoors and woods no longer remains in my body. I see the usual meadow and woods. But something moving off to my left catches my eye.

It's tall, broad…his blonde hair is shining in the sun, his gentle features only scare me. It can't be. When he turns around the day I had been dreading has come two days _early_. The bright, beautiful, blue eyes of Peeta are starring right back at me. His large hand slightly rises and waves at me. I fall off the window ceil in horror, and I only catch a glimpse of his figure approaching…

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**Hey Everyone! What did you think about the setup of this story so far? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! Would you like to see this continue? How often would you like updates? Anything you'd like to see between Katniss and Peeta during their first meeting? Thank you all so much for reading this fanfiction! I hope to talk to you guys soon!**

**-Freezethemoment**


	2. Opening Things Up

**Hey Everybody! I feel like this story has a lot more ways to go with it! I can't thank you all for already following, favorites, and reviewing! You have no idea the effect you all have on me haha (get it? :)) I am thinking still deciding on my update days so it may be a little scattered for now. I'm so excited to be writing for all of you awesome people! I will talk to you guys at the end!**

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My entire body is shaking from fear of Peeta. This is the first time I think I have actually been scared by the idea of his presence. I may have been panicked when I first got to see him after rescuing him from Snow's clutches and he attacked me. But right now I am flat on my back before I can see anything. I start to sit up and I hear somebody's footsteps running towards me. They stop suddenly and I turn around to see Peeta Mellark, he's standing shyly at the entrance of the living room.

I hurry to my feet and lean against the wall so I don't fall on my bottom right in front of him. I feel my eyebrows crease up as I slide back down the wall. I glare at him and point towards the door. He is completely speechless, his mouth gapes open but no words come out. I certainly will not talk to him; I have just gotten to where I could talk to Haymitch in full sentences. Peeta's forehead is soaked, and he is panting hard and loud. "I-I-I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I nod quickly stare at the wide open front door in disbelief. "I maybe…broke the lock on the door." I stare at him and his strength in horror.

I muster up some strength to run into the hallway closet, I shut the door quickly and look through the shutters of the closet. I run my fingers all over the carpet and wait in hopes that Peeta will just leave me alone. I can hear his footsteps against the hardwood floors and then they disappear. I breathe out in relief and right as I touch the cold handle of the closet, to make my escape, I see a shadow approaching. Of course the shadow belongs to Peeta.

"Katniss…Haymitch told me that you were okay. That you were accepting everything that happened and that it you wouldn't be hurt if I came back to twelve." _I don't dare say a word. After all after not seeing him for half a year and then he broke the lock to my front door and is just…sitting there… outside the closet that I'm now stuck in_.

"Look Katniss. I'm sorry for all of the pain I've already caused you after an hour back in twelve." The tears start to pour out of my eyes; _I'm a damaged, broken, and mental girl. Why is Peeta even trying_? "Katniss…I know we're both broken, and some of those wounds will never fully heal. I understand that. But I'd really just like to talk to you."

I open my mouth to breathe and a whine escapes my mouth, and I instinctively sniffle. I slap my hand over my mouth in anger for letting any kind of emotion filled sound escape my lips.

"I know you're upset. I'm sorry for even coming. I hope you'll come by my house sometime. We're both hurting..." I watch him rise to his feet, he leans against the door, and I scoot to the back of the closet. _Please don't open the door Peeta. Please_. He begins whispering something and I listen closer than I originally intended on.

"I'm hurting too Katniss. Please consider coming by my house…you're the only person I have left that I can talk to." I take in a deep breath and wipe the tears away. I can hear the front door close and I'm alone.

I slowly open the closet door and peer around to make sure Peeta is gone for real this time. When I decided he has; I pull off the stiff shoes Haymitch strapped onto me, and throw them into the closet. Once I get out of the carpeted hallways the hard wood floors are freezing against my warm feet. I can't stand it after hurting my ankle so bad when I was stranded in the woods, and the peacekeepers were here in my house. I hear a loud obnoxious ring that makes my heart skip a beat when I notice the noise is coming from down the hallway. I walk around cautiously to find the source of the annoyance and that's when I locate what I think is a telephone; I never really used my first one, except to talk to Cinna.

* * *

I'm reluctant to pick it up incase Peeta somehow managed to get my number, on what I know must be the last ring; I grab the phone and hold it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Haymitch?" I stutter on the one word I say

"Yeah, it's me."

My voice persists to crack with every word I speak, and when I try to clear it which only makes it worse.

"I saw Peeta leaving your house. There has been a lot of noise coming from his house, since. What did you say to him?"

"What do you mean, what did I say? What?! Is it impossible that maybe he was in the wrong?"

"Katniss, we both know that boy couldn't do anything bad." I remain silent as the memories of him working with the careers and treeing me.

"He's better now Katniss."

I take in a deep breath and wipe the last remaining tear I have left for today.

"You should at least go and talk to the boy Katniss."

"You can't make me!"

"Dang it Katniss! You're not listening! I'm not making you! I'm just suggesting something that could help all three of us! Because I'm getting tired of listening to you whine about every little thing!"

I don't remember the last time I was this mad at Haymitch…I hang the phone up and throw it against the wall and watch a piece fall off of it. I storm out of the room and up the stairs.

I climb them as fast as I can and I bang up my knees, seeing that my head is spinning, it's a wonder I made it to the attic without falling down the stairs. It's freezing up here and I just climb onto the roof and sit there angry for a few minutes. I peer over the edge. _This could all end right here. Right now. One jump and I won't have to deal with the pain I have felt in this world. Just one jump and it's all over_. I smile a little at the thought of no more pain, just rest. Sweet, blissful peace, in my death. The wind is blowing through my hair and I release it from its usual braid and let it flow in the wind. I stand up unsteadily and look around at the yard and suddenly become terrified.

I had forgotten for a moment about how truly scared the woods made me, after all my nightmares taking place in there; I can never go in there again without the fear of my losses haunting me all over again. I drop down to my knees and crawl back into the attic before I have a complete emotional breakdown. I pull myself down the stairs and back to my bedroom. I shut the curtains and crawl into my cave, and surround myself with the blanket and its warmth. My mind makes only makes things worse. The "warmth" of the blanket swaddling me only brings thoughts of Peeta back. Those nights on the train are the only time I had felt safe since my father's death. But now the idea of Peeta in the same bed or even house makes me feel colder on the inside.

************************************************Peeta's POV**********************************************

_Why did you go over there Peeta? Could you not have waited for her to make contact with you first? But no…you had to go over there and ruin any chances of Katniss forgiving you. Why would you even think that you were both still at the point in your lives where you could repair what has happened. I can't heal without Katniss, and she is broken beyond repair. Stop it Peeta! You can't say that! When you we're having your attacks daily, she never gave up on you. When you went on the mission to kill Snow she never left you to kill yourself. How can you give up on her now? You can't_.

I get off the couch and walk to the kitchen and pull out four pans of different pastries and breads. I take a bite of a cookie and begin icing them all. Even after the hijacking I enjoy the same things. That's when it occurs to me that I need another excuse for see Katniss. She has to know that I'm still here for her. It's about 10:00 at night before the obvious hits me. I pull out a bag and throw all of the pastries and rolls I made into several of them and walk out the door. I smirk that those people from thirteen thought they could contain me in this prison of a house. I happily shut the door behind me and decide to try and go about a _different_ way. Maybe the happiness can rub off on Katniss. In a few short steps I'm at her front porch. I walk up cautiously and I find myself hesitating when I raise my hand to knock.

_ Maybe you're pushing it too much in one day Peeta. You've already frightened her once_. _I should have called first…or something_. I begin looking around. You're delusional Peeta. Why would you think that Katniss even wants you here? She wanted you to get out._ What kind of difference is two bags of cookies going to make_? I hang my head in foolishness and start to turn my back. I leave the bags of food on the doorstep and leave a small note on the front of the bag. I run back to my house and walk around mad at myself. _I can't believe you did that! Do you want her to hate your guts and __**never**__ trust you again_?

***********************************************Katniss' POV************************************************

"Who the crap is there? I heard your footsteps banging against my front steps!" I grasp a pointed lamp that was in a spare room and listen to my bare feet pop against the cold floors as I peer around the corner, I can't see anybody on the porch. I set the lamp down and walk towards the door. _What are those_? I crack the door and stick one hand through and bring the bags of whatever inside and put them on the kitchen counter. I see some black writing on the front of one of the bags, I squint my eyes and read the small but neat print:

_**Katniss,**_

_**I hope you're not too mad at me after this morning. I'm sorry. **_

_**I still hope we can talk sometime. I'm here whenever you need me. Always. 684-2185**_

_**Peeta.**_

I widen my eyes as I read this. _How could somebody I fear so much, do this for me? Is it possible that he really isn't having the attacks like he used to. Stop kidding yourself Katniss…Haymitch told you he'd never be completely the same_. I open the bags and see dozens of cookies and rolls. I pick up one of the cookies and breathe in the aroma. The icing flower is of a lily. I throw it across the room and shake in my chair. I look at all the food for an hour or so, lost in thought if I should trust Peeta, or even eat the food he has left for me.

After that long hour of smelling the delicious looking cookies, I cave in and eat one. One quickly turns into ten…which quickly turns into fifteen. I decide to stop after eighteen. I close the bags and walk down the hallway, and pick up the phone I would have sworn was broken. There wasn't too much damage done. But I feel sure that if the workers in thirteen heard of it they'd have me back in for an assessment and then install a new phone. I pick it up and hear a long tone. My fingers tremble as they scoot across the keypad dialing the number from the bag Peeta left me…It feels like it rings for only a single second.

* * *

"Hello?...Katniss?"

_I try clearing my throat one more time before I try to speak_. "Thank you for the food…It was good."

"I'm glad you liked it. But I'm even happier that you've decided to talk."

"Okay."

"Katniss…do you want to come over tomorrow night? I can cook dinner or something."

When Peeta says this it takes me back for a moment. In my complete and utter fear I yell at him. "**No**! I don't want to go **anywhere**!"

"I'm sorry I asked…"

"But….y-y-you-"

"What is it, Katniss?…"

"We can talk...** tomorrow**."

"That'd be great. What time do you want me to come over?"

"Later in the day…"

"Okay. I'll see you then Katniss…"

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**Hey Guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! All the reviews/follows/favorites meant the world to me last time! I'm beyond happy that you guys are enjoying it! What did you think about Peeta's POV? Want to see more of it or would you prefer it in Katniss' POV? Do you like Peeta's newly found mission to repair their lives? Any characters you'd like to see come into the story? I love hearing from you guys, I kid you not when I say you guys light up my world. Thank you for supporting the story! I look forward to talking to you guys really soon! **

**~Freezethemoment 3**


	3. It's NOT a Date! Is it?

_**Hey Everybody! I hope you all are doing well! Sorry it took me so long to update! I have been working hard on this chapter. I know some of you may have seen that I had "updated" yesterday. I deleted that update because it was only 1,000 and pretty bad quality of a chapter! To make up for the confusion yesterday I decided to make this chapter 1,000 words longer! I wanted to thank you all so much for the reviews for the last chapter! I can't thank you all enough! You all light up my world! Talk to you at the end of today's extra long chapter!**_

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_ Is it possible that she's actually opening up?! She's opening up! You've done it Peeta! You got through to her so quickly this is defiantly something to be proud of…_I stroke Katniss' back and nuzzle her neck with my forehead. "Katniss, I love you." She jumps at my words and steps backwards quickly. "Katniss…I'm sorry-I just thought it'd be okay to say it…you don't have to say it to me…I just wanted to you know how I felt." She falls on her back and looks up at me in horror. I bend over to help her up, and she puts her hand to mine. I pull her wrists to help her up and I hear some sort of crack. I look down at her and he face is flushed with pain.

"Katniss? What's wrong?"

"You broke my wrist!"

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Let me help you up!" My heart is crushed at her words, that I have actually hurt Katniss. I bend down to pick her up and she screams and punches my jaw.

"Don't you dare touch me! I don't trust you anymore. Just…go, I'll get up by myself!"

I turn my back to her so I don't make her even more upset. She wiggles around for a while. I turn and quickly scoop her into my arms and set her back on her feet. She yells at my touch,

"I couldn't stand to see you struggle."

"What so it's okay to choke me?"

_Choke her? What does she mean? I'm not even touching her_…But she's right. My hands are wrapped tightly around her neck. I try to release but my hands won't let me.

"I hate you Peeta Mellark! Do you hear me? I hate you! I always will. That's a promise!"

Her body is still and I know she must be dead. Her body drops to the ground. I bust out crying and I fall onto my knees and stroke her face.

"I swear I didn't mean to do this. I'm so sorry Katniss." My heart burns as if it had been set on fire, and I'm sure I won't ever forgive myself. I shake in anger at my attack or whatever it's called, and throw my head back and yell something vile out.

* * *

All of a sudden I'm back in my bed, it's drenched in what I guess is my own sweat. I sit up quickly and throw off the sweat soaked sweats. The sun is just about to come up as I take a step out of the shower. I can't keep my mind off of what happened in my dream. I walk around on the cold floors and each foot step echoes louder than the one before. Thoughts of Katniss swim around my head and no matter how hard I try I know I won't be able to rest until I know she's okay. I throw on a t-shirt and pull on boots of some sort, and head out the door. The cold air makes my skin sting. I begin to regret not grabbing a coat. But at the moment all I care about is Katniss' safety. There is a very small amount of snow falling and it only adds to the redness on my face. I see my own breath, by that time I am at the back of Katniss' house, I can't help but think back to the time I was nine and did the same thing. Walking outside of Katniss' house and hoping to catch just a glimpse of her. I smile at the memory of when we were younger.

I shake the snow out of my hair and look through the first of the three of the windows, I can't see anything in that one, all the walls in the victor's village houses are white, and all the furniture is silver or white. It all runs together, not to mention in these enormous victor's village houses, it's only one small broken body in each. The second window I look through that is the equivalence of where my room is located, is empty as well. I peek through the last window with little hope that I'll see a single hair on her head. Again I see an all-white room with a snow white bed. But peeking out of the top of the covers, I can see a dark brown braid laying over a pillow. I smile at her signature braid, and how beautifully it contrasts from the white sheets.

I look down for only a moment just to smile in the memories of waking up to her perfect olive skin, beautiful smile, and feeling her warmth against my body. When I turn my attention back to the beautiful girl, I had once thought would be my wife; I find she has risen from her slumber. Her face is turned towards me and the window, only a moment of peace is allowed, before her soft skin is bright red from her crying and screaming. Even though I am outside, the screams still make me jump and make my ears ring. I can't help myself when I run around the house to her front door, _what could be causing her so much pain this early in the morning_? I kick the door open with ease and run down the hallway and into her bedroom.

"Katniss! Are you okay?!"

"Oh my god—p-p-p- Peeta?"

She stammers with each word.

"I heard you scream…are you alright?"

My heart is pumping wildly from running in the freezing cold. I know I must look dreadful with my hair soaking wet from the shower and the newly fallen snow. On top of how terrible I'm sure my appearance is...I'm standing at the doorway of her bedroom and questioning her so early in the day. _Well Peeta…you have blown the chance you had to be able and talk to Katniss with her responding and not hating every second you're around her_.

"I-I-I was having a ni-nightmare." She pulls the covers up to her neck and shakes in fear.

"I thought you were awake and…that you were hurt."

"No!"

I rub the back of my neck shyly and take a step backwards and run into the doorframe. To put it in simple terms, I ended up slamming my head against the hard wood floors as I slipped from the melted snow I tracked into her house.

"Peeta!" Katniss comes running to my side and hovers over me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah—I'm fine." I smile happily up at her, she's not yelling for me get out of her house. So to be honest I'd be fine to freeze this moment.

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face."

I can tell she's holding back a smirk but I don't comment on it. I don't want anything to ruin this perfect moment. My head in is her lap like in the first games and I still can't help the smile that is plastered onto my face. I pull myself to my feet, _I thankfully don't get too dizzy_. I stare down at the sickly looking girl that was once so strong and sure of every move she made. She seems to notice my staring at her, she wiggles her nose and crosses her arms in the awkward silence. She lets out a half smile and we both realize she had already blown the whole bitter act for today.

"Get outta here Mellark."

"Alright…as long as our dinner date is still on for tonight."

"Yeah whatever…wait!" I jokingly turn my back to her and start down the hallway.

"Peeta…it's not a date!"

I laugh loudly as I am walking up the steps to her front door. I hear Katniss' feet hit against the floor as she runs after me.

"Okay…Sure Katniss…it's _definitely_ not a date." She scowls at me.

"I'll see you then Katniss."

I see a smile tugging at her lips. And she casts her gaze downwards and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear shyly.

While I'm walking home one thought clouds my mind: Katniss Everdeen cares. She cares about you. And you almost got a smile out of her. _That is a victory in itself for sure_. I smile confidently, and suddenly my house doesn't feel so empty anymore with the thoughts and image of Katniss in my heart.

* * *

*********************************************Katniss' POV**************************************************

_What was that? When did you start to care about Peeta's safety? Is it possible you never stopped caring?_ I turn my back to the door and let out a quickly smile, I wipe it off my face after a second. I had forgotten what it was like to want to smile. I touch my fingers to my lips and walk back to my bedroom. Before I get to the carpeted hallway I step in a puddle of…water? _That idiot Peeta must have tracked in some snow or something_. I make note to clean it up before Peeta comes over tonight. I find it odd to _want_ company…especially Peeta. I take a shower and braid my hair back. I put on a bright blue shirt and light grey sweat pants. I walk out into the kitchen and sit on the counter. I open the second bag of food Peeta had sent me and eat half the bag and I get a knock at the door. _Since when does Peeta knock_? I open the door slowly and Haymitch barges in. He's holding a bottle of white liquor and he throws his arm around my shoulder. His pulls us over to the table and he sits down, and he won't stop laughing. It's quite obvious he's **beyond** drunk.

"I hear you and lover boy are going on a date tonight."

"Where did you hear that?"

"My geese are _all_ knowing!"

I shake my head at the severity of how drunk he is at the moment. "Haymitch…you don't even have **a** goose."

He laughs his annoying drunkard laugh, and shoves his bottle of liquor into my arms. "Oh Bernard!" He calls out the door, I watch the door for a few minutes and rest in the fact that I already knew, _Haymitch doesn't have a goose_. Haymitch slams his head against the table in his fit of laughter. "He's such a stubborn ass." Haymitch shakes his head and acts upset. He places his chin on the table and stares at me.

"Well…aren't the star crossed lovers going on a date? Or aren't they?"

"It's not a da-"

I hear some sort of faint honking and I see a single goose walk through the back door, and make its way to Haymitch, and then flies onto the top of his head.

"Umm Haymitch…"

"Oh there you are Bernard!"

He smiles up at the goose, that I guess he named Bernard. Haymitch shakes his head and the goose walks over to me on the table, I raise my hand reluctantly and pat its back awkwardly.

"You little idiot! He **bit** my finger!"

"Funny… he liked the boy."

By this time I'm tired of the drunk and his goose in my house. I pick up the goose and throw it out the door. Bernard angrily waddles back towards Haymitch's house making all these weird honks along the way. "Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine today. Come back Bernard!"

Haymitch takes his bottle of liquor and stumbles out the back door after his goose. I breathe out in relief a little too soon. "Better perk up a little before your date tonight, sweetheart." I slam the door, hitting Haymitch's nose in the process.

* * *

I walk back over and sit on the counter. I look around at my house, water and feather filled. _But still empty… Is that all I do? Drive people away_? I shake my head and remind myself it's not my fault that people choose to walk out of my life…right? I don't feel so sure after sitting on the window ceil for another few hours, and feeling empty inside. I slide my legs down and walk back into my kitchen and can't help but stare at where the knives should be. But when the people and doctors "Katniss proofed" the house they removed anything I could harm myself with. I hear that annoying ringing noise again, but this time I know where it's coming from so I locate it on the third ring. But now I need to figure out if I even want to answer it. _Don't push people away Katniss…you can't keep pushing them away forever_.

"Hello?"

"Hey Katniss…"

"Who is this?"

"Peeta. I was just going to ask if it'd be alright if I come over in a few minutes."

I look out the window and see it won't be long until sunset. "Fine."

"Good. I'll see you in a few."

I hang up the phone without another word. I walk out of the spare room and look at my house. It still has puddles of water and feathers all through the house. I run into the bathroom for some towels. I clean up the puddles; it hurts my back to bend over so much after such a long time of doing nothing but lying in bed. But I hurry along and grab the feathers off the floor and toss them out a window. I catch a glimpse of my appearance on the silver of the refrigerator, I'm running back to my room to at least fix my braid and I feel something cold on my foot. I slip and fall onto the floor. "Hello? Katniss? Are you here?" I scramble to my feet, which only makes me fall once again into the puddle. I sigh in defeat and realize I won't be able to get up quickly enough before Peeta comes to find me. "Katniss!" He runs towards me and bends down next to me. I hate feeling this _defeated_ so I try to stand up on my own again. I fall in an even more pathetic way…_if that's even possible_.

"Well. Don't just watch me. Help me up." He stands up nervously and has his back towards me.

"Are you sure you want me to help you..-u-u-up?"

"Well I can't get up on my own."

If I didn't know better I'd swear he was scared to help me up. I hold my hands up to him in hopes he'll man up and help. "Hey…you invited yourself over. The least you could do is help me up!" He glances down at my hands and seems to shudder in fear. He reluctantly takes my wrists and holds them as if they would crack or snap…or something. When I'm back securely on my feet Peeta, open his eyes.

"Peeta…I fell in a puddle. I'm not naked."

He looks me over. "Are your wrists okay?"

"Yeah…Why wouldn't they be?"

"No reason…just making sure."

I stare at him a minute and walk towards the bedroom.

"Katniss, where are you going?"

"To get out of these clothes, they're soaked."

He nods in approval. I quickly throw on some black sweat pants and an orange shirt. I walk back out and Peeta is patiently sitting at the table. "I like your shirt." "Whatever….I mean…okay." He meets me in the living room and we just look at each other for a little while. That's when his stupid smile makes another appearance and it makes me feel weird inside. I pretend to slap his face and he just silently laughs. He extends his arm and messes with my hair.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm grabbing the goose feathers out of your hair…"

"Oh…"

I touch the top of my head and try to feel around for some of the feathers. I see at least seven feathers fall out in one small stroke. My face turns bright red. Peeta smirks

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Be embarrassed." I smile at him and try to avoid contact with his eyes. "So…did you bring dinner?"

"Yeah, you sit down and I'll bring it to you.

"Fine."

I sit down in a chair and watch Peeta pull out various dishes of delicious smelling foods. In a few minutes Peeta has made up two large plates and is joining me at the table.

"It smells good."

"Thanks."

We eat in silence for most of our meal. I play with the mashed potatoes still left on my plate, suddenly my attention is drawn to Peeta.

"Katniss, I wanted to come over so we could talk…I wanted to talk about that kiss…when we were in Tigris' cellar. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

"Yes? Is that all you have to say about that? Did you feel anything?"

"I felt something. I just don' know what it was."

"I know you wanted to save me from Snow's clutches…I know you fought for it…why?"

"I promised I'd protect you."

"Is that the only reason why? Because of a stupid promise we made during the quarter quell?"

"Peeta. I don't know! But what I do know is that I'm broken. Broken beyond repair, and your question has only enforced that!"

I throw my fork onto the plate and run back into the hall closet. I can hear Peeta scoot out of his chair. He comes and takes his spot outside the closet. I can see that he knows he screwed up which makes me a little less angry.

"You're the same Katniss that rescued me from Snow. Real or not real?"

"I don't want to do this right now Peeta."

I feel my eyes stinging which is followed by a single tear escaping and sliding down my cheek. After a while of silence I crack.

"Both."

"You're too broken to even look at me."

"Not real."

"You feel alone in this world."

"…Real."

I see Peeta get up from his usual spot, he leans against the door. I think for a long time and try to keep the tears back.

"I have one for you Peeta. You're broken…real or not real?"

"Real. So unbelievably real…You'll let me in. Real or not real?"

_You can't keep blocking them out…you can't_. "Real."

I hear the doorknob turn slowly. I scoot to the side and Peeta shyly smiles at me, crawls into the closet and faces me. He shuts the door and the dark makes it less intimidating to talk this close. I feel his heat radiating off his body and it soothes me, and keeps me calm.

"Peeta…I'm broken. I don't know if you understand how broken I am. So broken…I can't see how I'd ever be able to be fixed. I'm not worth it Peeta. There are other people in Panem that deserve you more than I do."

"You're right. I'm sure there are more "town/rich" people like me out there…that aren't broken. That doesn't mean that I want them. I'm broken. I don't want them Katniss…I have loved you since we were five. And I won't stop until the day I die."

I rest my head on his shoulder and we sit there in silence for an hour or so. "Let's get out of this closet." I nod and breathe in the scent that I love about Peeta. He takes my hand like in our first games. I let out a small laugh and we open the closet door and walk into the living room. "May I present the victors of the seventy fourth, and seventy fifth hunger games." I murmur into his ear. I look up at his perfect blue eyes; this is the closest to happiness I have felt in years. "Peeta. Thank you…"

_For the first time ever I feel like maybe…just maybe. Together we could be "repairable"_. Peeta looks down at me, and I am harshly greeted with clouded dark blue eyes. His pupils are small as a pin point. This is the start of something that I haven't seen since he's been back in twelve…but once you've seen this in his eyes…you can never unsee it... The tracker jacker hijacking venom, pumping through his body…**.ensuring something that will break me**…**all over again.**

* * *

**Hey Guys! So...what'd you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! Anything you'd like to see happen? Any more characters you want to see brought into my fanfiction? What did you think about Haymitch's new "friend"...Do you guys prefer Haymitch drunk or sober? How about Katniss' thoughts? Think she's crazy or starting to heal? Your reviews/follows/favorites mean the world to me! I love knowing you guys enjoy the story! Thanks for inspiring me every day! As far as update days go I'm thinking about either Wednesday, Thursday, Or Friday...Do you guys have any preference? Talk to you all at my next update! Thanks for reading! **

**~Freezethemoment 3**


	4. Coming For a Visit

**Hey Everybody! I hope you're not too mad at me for the longer wait for an update... School :P...Anyways I'll shut up so you guys can read today's chapter! Thank you all so much for all the support on the last chapter! *Update day will be announced at the bottom***

* * *

When me and Peeta had been in love, I would have kissed him…or even hold his face in my hands. But now that I'm broken, and our hearts feel like two completely separate places, I feel completely helpless. Peeta's eyes are almost dark grey from the clouding of venom in his eyes. His forehead has a layer of sweat covering it and he is panting hard. His hands are grasped tightly around the back of my kitchen chair.

There isn't one part of me that isn't trembling. I look down at my knees and they are shaking so much I fear the moment that I have to move from this spot. That moment seems to appear at this moment in my warped mind. I take one unsure footstep towards Peeta, and it surprises me how I don't have a single clue as to what I should do while he's having an attack. I walk over and he seems startled by my loud footsteps.

I awkwardly pat his back as a friend should do in a time of hurt. "It'll be okay Peeta. You're not strangling me. That's a start." The old Peeta doesn't return he just shakes at my touch. "How's the star crossed lovers? Everybody decent in here?" Haymitch stumbles through the door and locates us in the kitchen. "Well is somebody a little sad?" He gestures towards Peeta, and takes another sip of his liquor. Peeta snaps his head up at the smell of such a strong liquor, "Well you look pretty today boy." I guess Haymitch is referring to the sweat stains covering Peeta's shirt, and the black bags quickly forming under his eyes. I close my eyes and wish Haymitch would go away, the last thing we need is a drunk telling us to love each other, when it has been made clear tonight that it isn't even possible.

Suddenly I don't feel Peeta's heat scorching my hands. I snap my eyes open and see Peeta barreling towards Haymitch.

**********************************************Peeta's POV*************************************************

"What have you done to Johanna, and the girl with the red hair?" I tackle whoever this _"peacekeeper"_ is. He is very drunk, who knows what he could do to a person in his current state. I do one quick cut across his chin and the peacekeeper appears to be unconscious. I drag him into the closest room to me and shut the door swiftly.

I turn around, and I can't figure out why I'm so exhausted? _What could have made me so tired? So…quickly._ I lay my eyes on the girl with the dark seam braid, and those sickening grey eyes that allow me to see just how deadly she is. _Take her out next Peeta. She's the threat. Kill her_. I run towards the seam mutt and she doesn't even try to fight back when I go to tackle her.

"Wait...Katniss?"

"Peeta!"

_Why would I kill her? This is the girl I'm trying to "get back". There's no reason to kill her. I might even…love-that mutt_! My mind feels foggy but I decide to go through with the attack. I kick her to the ground and tower above her. She lies down with her eyes closed. "Why don't you fight back?" I pull her back up and hold her by the top of her shirt and she barely looks panicked. "Why don't you fight back you stinkin mutt? What kind of **capital mutt** doesn't try to fight back?" At this point I'm beyond questioning. I punch against her cheek and let my fist collide with her eye. I drop her to the floor and she winces in pain. I bend down and wrap my hands around her scrawny and boney throat.

"Any last words before you're dead, mutt?"

"I'm sorry for leaving you."

_ Leaving me? How did this mutt leave me? It's not like we're friends…or…Katniss_?

"Oh my god Katniss!"

I release my hands and let her fall into my arms. I stroke the back of her head while she coughs up a storm.

"I'm so sorry. Katniss, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't. I don't even know what happened…"

I shakily walk back into her bedroom and lay her down. Katniss' eyes are watering and I can tell that her eye is darkening. She is still very much so unconscious. I run into the kitchen and bring back some ice in a towel and rest it on her eye and head.I sit beside her bed and stroke the top of her hand and wrist.

_Why are you still trying Peeta? You just gave her a black eye and almost choked her to death. What makes you think that'll make her want to love you? How do you even begin to apologize… "sorry for choking you?" it doesn't seem to heart felt, while her eye blackens and she comes out of being unconscious. Snow may be dead. But he still manages to ruin my life_.

***********************************************Katniss' POV************************************************

My eyes feel too weak to open. I feel something hot on my hand, I crack my eyes open and catch a glimpse of Peeta. I jerk back and almost fall off the bed. "Wh-wh-wha…**Peeta**?" He lifts his head and looks at me, and I am just able to see the red splotches covering his face.

"Hey Katniss…I don't know if you even remember what happens. But I'm sorry. I have never been so sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

I slide my hand out from his and turn on my side.

"See…I told you we were both broken."

"I guess so."

I don't feel like talking and so by my three word answer I wish Peeta would catch the hint. Being his normal Peeta self. He doesn't. After a while in the silence I realize Peeta isn't going anywhere until I talk to him.

"How long was I out?"

"Two hours."

"Did you stay with me this whole time?"

"Well I did have to walk Haymitch…I kinda owed it to him, since I was the reason he had been unconscious."

"Well…thanks for staying with me."

"Again…I sorta owed it to you." _He owed it to me? He doesn't care?_

"I mean…I enjoy being with you…it wasn't a debt. I mean I should have-I mean...Maybe I should just go…you know get out of your hair."

He starts to stand up and I extend my arm and hold his hand, in a pathetic attempt to make him stay.

"You can stay. I know how unstable you feel after an attack."

"Unstable is a perfect word. That's why I have to go. The last thing you need is me screwing up your life more than I already have."

"You can come back tomorrow…"

"I don't think that'd be the best thing…for **either** of us."

Peeta slugs out of the bedroom and it's not long after that I hear the front door close and I'm alone once again. I never realized how empty the house was…until this moment when I lost Peeta. I lay awake for several more hours. "Who needs you anyways?!" I have tears streaming down my face. I throw the pearl, into the closet; I eventually fall asleep to what is ensured to be a very unrestful night.

Sure enough I am riddled with nightmares of all sorts through the night.

* * *

When I pry my eyes open the next day it is already twelve in the afternoon. My forehead is damp with sweat and I know that I have lost everybody. I have scared them all away, _I have nobody_. My heart feels emptier than ever and it pains me to think I don't have either Haymitch or Peeta to live my day with.

I roll off the bed and crawl groggily to my dresser and pull on some clean clothes. I redo my usual braid. I sit on my living room window ceil and look out and see Haymitch running around with that stupid goose he calls Bernard. I shake my head in dismissal. But the thing that does catch my eye is Peeta sitting under a willow tree under a fleece blanket. _Since when is __**he**__ the outdoorsy type_? This angers me, _all of those times trying to convince him to come out in the woods with me…and yet there he sits happily drawing in my meadow_?

I pull on my old boots, hunting jacket, and a hat and swing the front door open. The cold stings my eyes and cheeks. I am reluctant to take my first step outdoors. Part of me is terrified to. I decide to walk along the pathway and apologize to Haymitch.

"Well well well…Bernard I think we have found the elusive girl on fire. But I may be wrong." Haymitch snarls at me and picks up Bernard.

"I'm sorry for throwing you and…"Bernard" out of my house."

"Bout time you apologized kid. Say... you know those hardwood floors were hard that I fell against last night."

"I know. I've been meaning to get somebody from thirteen to replace the wood with carpet."

Haymitch's eyes light up and he gets some kind of oddly sinister look on his face.

"What's with the "look" old man?"

"Hey! Watch the attitude or else I won't help you get anybody to take those awful hardwood floors out."

"Fine."

I mumble and turn my back to him and close my eyes at the annoying sober Haymitch. All of a sudden I feel something sharp poke into an area that should not be jabbed like that. I leap forward a few feet and into something else. I cast my gaze upwards and I see Peeta looking down at me. I am against his chest and I let out a small squeak. I cover my mouth and take a quick step backward and I feel my cheeks heat up.

"I-I-I didn't mean to run into you Peeta…The-I mean…**That goose** bit my butt!" Peeta looks down at his feet and remains silent. "What? You don't believe me?! I can't stand you Peeta Mellark!" He rubs the back of his neck and takes a few steps toward Haymitch. "Oh…I see how it is! You two are teaming up on me! Well….fine! See if I care." I storm off back to my house. I slam the door and scream out. "Men!" I throw my hat and jacket down and walk back towards the hallway.

I end up slipping and falling onto my bottom, right before I make it to the carpet. I yell out in anger and throw my boots across the room and into the wall. I stand up and go into a room with a small TV I flip it on and hope something will come up about thirteen and how I can find somebody to replace the wood flooring. Instead I see Annie Cresta's face up on the screen. The reporter begins speaking excitedly about her.

* * *

"Annie Cresta Odair is now five months pregnant, it's rumored to be a boy. For those of you who weren't aware her husband Finnick Odair was killed in the war. Annie is doing a tour of the districts before what we all hope to be a baby Finnick comes into the world." It cuts to a clip of Annie walking with her head down.

"Mrs. Odair! Can you tell us the gender of a baby."

"No."

"What districts will you be traveling to on your tour…you are going on a tour aren't you?"

"I don't know yet." She gets into her car and drives off.

"Well you heard it here first folks, Annie Odair should be heading out on a tour of the districts in the next week or so. Keep your eyes open, and you may be able to catch a peek at our next Finnick Odair!" I flip the TV off in disgust. My eyes wander over to the telephone.

* * *

I run completely off of the pain I feel for Annie at the moment and I pick up the phone.

"Who may I connect you to Mockingjay?"

"Annie Odair."

"Please hold."

* * *

You haven't seen Annie since the end of the war…what makes you think she wants to see the girl who caused her husband's death?

"Hello?"

"Annie?"

"Yes?"

"It's Katniss…Everdeen."

"Oh…hello... Are you okay Katniss?"

"Yes I'm okay. I was calling to see if you were…"

"The paparazzi are getting annoyed…but I'm feeling okay. But I still miss him Katniss…"

"I miss him too Annie. I saw on the news that you were going on a district tour…"

"That's what they all keep saying."

"I was wondering if you'd like to come…here. To twelve. You could stay with me…Only if you'd like though."

"I hate to impose…"

"It's been lonely around here. Please come."

"Alright. I can catch a train and be over in a couple days or so…"

"That sounds good. Hey Annie, somebody is knocking on my door…I guess I'll see you in a few days."

"Okay, see you then. Thank you Katniss."

I throw the phone down and grumpily stomp to the front door.

* * *

"Who is it?"

"I'm here to help install the carpet."

I open the door a little relieved to finally be able and be rid of the horrible hardwood floors.

There standing in the doorway is the same boy with blonde hair and the same blue eyes that now feel as if they haunt me look down and into my eyes….

"Peeta?"...

* * *

**Hey Guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know! What do you think about Annie coming to visit? Think Katniss is really broken? What do you think about Peeta in this chapter? Do you want to keep seeing small random appearances from Bernard the goose? Any more characters you'd like to see me bring in? I have finally decided to pick an update day. (Drum roll please) I WILL BE UPDATING ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS! (not this coming Wednesday) I hate not being able to update daily, but school has gotten crazy and I hate for updates to be on such random days. But! For every review you send me, I will PM you a 200-300 word preview. 1 review = preview. I will talk to you guys next chapter, thanks again for the support on the last chapter! Each review made my day! Thank you all!**

**~Freezethemoment**


	5. Starting The Project

**Hey Everybody! SURPRISE! I'm back early! I know that it's not next Wednesday already, but I am uploading this chapter for all of you amazing people to celebrate 1,000 VIEWS on this story! Thank you guys so much for reading, reviewing, following, and for the favorites! When we reach little milestones like today, I will be uploading an extra chapter for that week! Thank you guys and here's the update! **

* * *

"Since when do you work for thirteen?"  
"Well I don't really. I'm working on a favor for Haymitch. He said you wanted the hardwood floors out."  
"I umm-yeah…But you made it clear yesterday that it wasn't good for us to be around each other."  
"Hey that was in a friend or…something more way. But I'm just here working. So…can I come in?"

I pause for a moment and wish I could slam the door in his face. But the anger has bubbled out of me, and I realize that Peeta is right. He can work on the house…It doesn't make much of a difference to me. My fingers shake as I open the door wider. I begin regretting my decision after I have already let Peeta in...Yep, you're definitely mentally stable enough to allow half the reason of being broken into your house, for who knows how long.

***********************************Flashback (Peeta's POV)**********************************

"Haymitch…what was so important that Katniss would leave her house?"  
"Nothing that concerns you, boy."  
"I may have screwed everything up with Katniss…at least let me know if she's okay."  
"She's fine. She just was apologizing to me. You know Peeta…she wants carpet installed into her house."  
"So?" _Please ask me to help her…please…just ask me to help Haymitch…  
_"I have to tend to Bernard, and help him find some friends. Why don't you give Katniss a hand?"  
_Don't act too excited Peeta…just accept calmly and respectfully.  
_"Sure, I'll start today."

Haymitch smirks at my answer "I just helped you score seeing Katniss every day for as long as you want to make it. Show some gratitude." My stupid Peeta smile flashes for only a moment before I wipe it off. "Now run on boy, before the girl slips again and breaks her neck." I turn around and smile at my second chance to make it up to Katniss.

*******************************End of Flashback (Peeta's POV)********************************

"So…what color carpet are you thinking Katniss?" I see a smile tugging hard at her lips at my stupid and almost pointless question and she wipes her face of emotion after I think that. She rolls her eyes and walks over to the bag of swatches I brought inside with me. I stare at this beautiful girl that I have loved since I was five, _you have yet another chance with her Peeta...please don't blow it_.

* * *

"Peeta?" I shake my head and remove myself from the daze and fantasy of me and Katniss going back to how we had been in the arena for the quarter quell.

"Oh…yeah?"  
"Did you not hear my question?"  
"No…I'm sorry. I was just—thinking about how long it'll take to pull up the hardwood floors."  
"Oh, okay. I was just going to ask you if it'd be alright if I don't help today. I'm not feeling too good."  
"I wasn't going to ask you to help anyways…Today I'm just tearing the floors up."  
"Alright thanks…"  
"I want to warn you that it might be too noisy for you to nap while I work."  
"Okay, well then…I hope you don't mind if I sit here and watch for a while…do you?"  
"No, that's fine." I let out a small smile to assure her it's okay.

She tenses up a little at my show of emotions. "I guess I'll start from the living room and work my way to the front door." Katniss nods and sits on the couch, her legs are bunched up and she looks like a little boney ball that has been plopped onto the couch. _Alright. I have Katniss' trust on this project…now…how does one tear up a floor_? I look through my tool bag and can't seem to find a tool that looks fitting for destroying the work of the capital. "I'll be right back Katniss." She sits with a blank expression and nods. I run to Haymitch's garage and rummage through the tools he has. I find a sledge hammer and decide it'll have to do… I walk back over to Katniss' house and see she has sprawled out on the couch and is half asleep. I walk in front of her and have to wave for a few minutes, she eventually looks up.

"I'm going to start now Katniss…it's going to be pretty loud…"  
"Fine."

**********************************************Katniss' POV*************************************************

Inside I feel completely empty…even with another person in the house. I don't even want to be awake, but with Peeta in my house I know I need to stay awake and make sure everything goes okay. I don't look forward to the noise, seeing yet another thing I know be destroyed no matter how much I hate these floors. I watch Peeta raise the sledge hammer and crash it down onto the floor, the first two boards crumble under the hammer slamming against it. Peeta bends down on his knees and tears back a few feet of wood floor with a crow bar. "Two planks of wood done. Only about several hundred left to go on the first level of the house." I restrain the smile that wants to creep upon my lips at his joke, one of the first that almost slipped through my grasp. I cover my mouth and watch Peeta continue to pull up each plank of wood, one at a time. The sound of the wood cracking is soothing to me and I enjoy hearing it. I close my eyes and lean back and become lost in thought. An overwhelming thought of being alone in a silent house makes me want to curl up and sleep…for the rest of my life. _No nightmares. No people. No pain from the memories. Just sweet. Blissful. Sleep._

* * *

"Katniss? Did you hear me?" I feel my cheeks heat up, and my vision goes a little blurry.  
"Oh…sorry. What?"  
"Can you give me a hand?"

I look around for Peeta, and I find it odd how I can't find him. I scan the room and find him in the corner holding a piece of wood up. I scramble to my feet and end up tripping over a plank of wood. I crawl over to Peeta and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"What do you need help with?"  
"Hand me the crow bar, this piece isn't wanting to come up on its own."  
I pick up the crow bar and hand it to Peeta with my shaky hands.  
"Thanks."

I nod quickly and watch as Peeta pops the board up, a stray chip of wood flies up and hits me in the eye. I let out a squeak of pain.  
Peeta jumps up and brings me back some ice. "I'm so sorry Katniss…your eye seems to be having a difficult time with me being around." He helps me to my feet and half carries me to the closet chair. Peeta rests his hand on my knee and the warmth feels good against my freezing body.

I touch my eye and wince from the bruise and new small cut beneath is from the wood chip. Peeta's forehead creases in concern; I come back to my senses and gently hint for Peeta to remove his hand from my knee, he takes the hint and looks down with concern and embarrassed.  
"Sorry…I-I didn't mean for that to hit you…" his face is bright red, which actually surprises me after the fact that he didn't want to even be friends several hours ago when he started tearing up the floors and now... _he's getting nervous around me_? I remain mute and just look at my feet. "I think half the living room is pretty good for the first day don't you agree Katniss?" I nod slowly and wish I could go to sleep and not have to talk anymore for the rest of the day. Peeta rises back up to his feet and I look up at him with no feeling in my heart, and no clear thoughts coming to mind.

"I'll come back over tomorrow to finish the living room, be careful where there isn't any of the old flooring, there could be spare staples laying around."  
"Okay."  
"Bye Katniss…" I nod and he leaves without another word.

I breathe out in relief once the front door clicks shut I throw my legs up onto the other side of the chair and find myself drifting off to sleep a moment or two later. I am dreaming peacefully when I hear my door open once again, I discard it and figure the wind from the snow storm could have blown it open. I crack my eyes open to make sure it's not Peeta. Instead of the blonde hair I had started to get used to I am greeted by a beak and one single loud honk. I yell out in a high pitched squeal and fall backwards onto the floor.

* * *

When my vision clears I see Annie hovering over me. I cover my mouth in shame over the squeak and sit up quickly. I rub my head where the bump is sure to make its appearance in a few hours.  
"Annie?"  
"Look at this little guy! He followed me here from Haymitch's house!" She picks up that stupid goose and smiles down at me.

"Annie, that goose is a demon! It's like some horrible drunk, angry, Haymitch…but in goose form!"  
"What?_ Bernard_ is out to get you?"  
"I **swear** he is!"  
Annie shakes her head and giggles… "Alright Katniss… "_Bernard is evil_"." I scowl in response and Annie shoos Bernard out the door and walks back over to help me up.

_I'm surprised by how Annie has already managed to pull so many words out of me. The only thing we really shared in thirteen was Finnick_.

"It may be a little bit late for this but...Surprise! One of my doctors in four warned me that the paparazzi were coming to four…I hope it's okay that I'm here a few days early…"  
"It's fine. Wow…Annie. You're huge."  
I stare at her ever expanding abdomen in disbelief…_Is a woman's stomach supposed to be that large during pregnancy_?  
"Well he is supposed to be coming out in a couple weeks."  
"But the news reporter said it was going to another four months, don't babies stay in for nine months?"

Annie laughs until her face is close to the color of her hair. "Of course they do Katniss! But we can't let the paparazzi know when baby Finn is coming…can we?" She playfully shoves my shoulder. I sit in amazement how much Annie has changed from the damaged beyond repair girl I met in thirteen.

"Right…sorry…well. You look great to be almost ready to give birth to him. It is a him isn't it?" I squint my eyes in suspicion after all the false information I heard on the news.  
"Yep…I've decided to name him Dillan."  
"I love it."  
"Thanks…so how have you been Katniss?"  
"Okay…"  
"Well you have to tell me more than that!"  
"Things have been difficult recently. I just want to lay around all day."  
"Well that's going to change. I can stay for a week…and by the end you'll be back to the same active Katniss you were in your first games!" Annie's eyes fog a little with the word games. But she returns to her happy self a few seconds later.

"I doubt it…" I raise my frail arm and show her how much muscle and weight I have lost since the end of the war.  
"Well…those muscles will return after some work…and food. A lot of food."  
She shakes my arm and giggles at how stick-like it is. I laugh to myself at Annie's child-like thoughts are at times, and think that I might actually enjoy her presence around the house for a week.

"I smelled something delicious cooking over at Peeta's house. When he sees how skinny you've gotten he'll give you a bakery full amount of food! Come on, and you can tell me about what caused that black eye on the way over!" She lets out a light laugh and her green eyes sparkle.

It soon becomes obvious just how pregnant she is, because she is very determined to get to the food, I dig my heels into the snow covered grass in my front yard. "Annie! Please! No!" Before I can protest further and grab onto anything Annie has dragged to the bottom of Peeta's front porch steps. "Come on Katniss!" One by one Annie manages to get me up the steps, and she knocks on the door happily, I hear footsteps and the door swings open swiftly.

"Hi Peeta!" Annie squeaks out happily...

* * *

**Alright guys, this is the last chapter you will get out of me until Wednesday! Same deal as last time 1 review = A 200-300 word preview! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Let me know your thoughts on it! Thank for reading and getting me to 1,000 reads you guys are amazing! I will send out previews Sunday or Monday! I will talk to you guys then or on Wednesday! Bye! :)**

**~Freezethemoment**


	6. The Start of a Wait

**Hello my beautiful readers! Well...it's Wednesday again and that means it's time for another update! Thank you all so much for the reviews/views I received on the last chapter. You all light up my world! 3 Now. Onto today's chapter!**

* * *

"Hi Peeta!" Annie squeaks out happily.  
"Oh! Hey—Annie?"

Annie springs forward to give Peeta a hug and her red curls bounce everywhere. Peeta stiffly hugs Annie back. He is obviously just as surprised as me at Annie's enthusiasm. I cross my arms shyly and feel my teeth chatter from the below freezing temperatures. Annie releases Peeta quickly and snaps her head around to me expectantly. I look down at my boots and just hope I can leave before Peeta invites us in.  
"Hi Katniss." I look up and see Peeta's crystal clear blue eyes looking down at me. The cold weather allows me to blush without it showing up so clear that Peeta makes me nervous, when I'm around him.  
"Hey Peeta." I keep my arms crossed and tug on Annie's arm so that we can leave. She shakes me off and elbows Peeta softly in the arm.  
"Katniss is pretty thin and boney…don't you think Peeta?"  
"Annie. She can't really help it…depression takes a lot out of people."  
"I'm not depressed! I shout, it echoes through what sounds like all of twelve. "This is why I don't talk."  
Annie just shakes her head and rolls her eyes at me.  
"You are just the spitting image of happiness tonight, aren't you Katniss?" Annie laughs at her own joke and just widens her emerald eyes at Peeta. He shakes his head as if he were in some sort of a daze and scratches his head in what he thinks is ignorance on our part.  
"Oh! I'm sorry…would you guys like to come in?"  
He stiffly, and nervously opens the door wider. Annie looks back at me and I subtly shake my head no, despite the wonderful aroma coming from Peeta's house. I mouth the words no and she nods in approval. I turn to head back to my house and I feel her grab my wrist and turn me towards Peeta and his house.  
"We would love to. Thank you Peeta." He nods and motions for us to come inside.  
Annie leans in close to me and squints her eyes in suspicion and what looks like... expectance.  
"Katniss Everdeen. Play nice." She then flashes her special Annie smile and happily pulls me into Peeta's house… "Annie I really don't-" Peeta's eyes relax a little when he sees me flash an embarrassed smile. He flits his eyes away and walks over to the oven and pulls out a pan of food. It's cheesy buns, my stomach growls at the delicious smells surrounding me. I throw my arms over my stomach in hopes to muffle the noises, it does mute them…but it's too late, both Annie and Peeta have heard my stomach's desperate cries for food. Annie giggles and walks over to Peeta.

* * *

"Mind if the pregnant woman takes some of your food?" Peeta returns her question with a small nod and smile.  
"You can have some too Katniss. I have too much food and not enough people to eat it. Help yourself."  
He shakes his head reassuring me it's okay. But after all I have put that boy through it doesn't seem right to invite myself into his house and then eat his food. Annie pushes Peeta out of the way playfully and sets down a large plate full of different foods.  
"Are you kidding me? You're literally a stick and you're scared to eat some food. Now eat." Peeta smirks and nods towards the plate. I sit there refusing the food for only a couple moments, eventually the hunger gets to me and I sink my teeth into the cheesy bun. I moan out in happiness and breathe in the smells of the rest of the food and shovel in a few bites. I cast my eyes up and see a glowing Peeta.  
"Thank you. It's good."  
"No problem. I'm glad you actually feel up to eating."  
I nod and finish my plate with ease. Annie hasn't stopped talking to Peeta and cramming her own face with food since I began eating. When Peeta takes my plate Annie quickly throws her numerous plates and cups into the sink where Peeta is washing dishes. "Peeta…my ankles are hurting. Do you mind if I lay on your couch in the other room for a little while? Katniss can help you with the dishes." Annie smiles at me and mouths the same thing as before we entered the house, _"Katniss Everdeen, be nice_." I widen my eyes in horror of having to spend more time with my fellow "tribute". Peeta looks back at me and half smiles.

I rise to my feet and take a few unsure steps towards the sink. "Here's a towel, you can dry." He tosses a towel towards me and hands me a wet plate. I dry it in silence and to be honest I don't intend on speaking another word to Peeta Mellark until I have to tomorrow when he comes to finish tearing up the floors. After five plates I begin to relax and realize that he's not going to talk either…I was wrong.

* * *

"I'm thinking about trying to finish tearing up the living room floor tomorrow."  
"Okay." I breathe under my breath.  
"Sorry I couldn't get the whole room finished today. I was too panicked after that wood chip hit your eye." I can't help but let out a single laugh at how guilty he feels about that.  
"You took a sword to the leg, and tracker jacker venom for me. The wood is nothing Peeta. Really." The corners of his mouth turn up a little at the memories. Peeta drops the last dish back into the water, turns toward me and stares into my eyes.

"You put yourself at risk to the careers, you almost ate nightlock, almost killed yourself in the fog, and kept me in the squad during the war…all of that…crap…to save…me. I-I-I don't want you to be angry with me when I ask you this…and if it makes you uncomfortable you don't even have to answer…but, **why**? Why would you do all of that to save me. Yet you're scared of me now?"

_ My mouth gapes open for a second. Do you really want to talk about this? Are you comfortable saying this? Wait. Saying what? You're don't even know what you feel for this boy. You can't see past those who fell in all the games and war. You can't lie…and you definitely don't know what you feel. Don't lead him on_.

"Sorry…that was a terrible question. And it's even more terrible of me to put you on the spot like that."  
"No…it's alright. I've asked myself that a couple times. But I'm a depressed mess, Peeta. And I'm most definitely **not worth waiting on**…" Peeta cleans the last dish and hands it to me. I no longer feel scared by his presence but I question every move either of us make. _What __**do**__ you feel for him_? I dry the dish and put it on the bottom pantry. I stand up; Peeta slowly and gently reaches towards my face and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. He half smiles and walks out of the kitchen.

* * *

I hear a high pitched squeal "Peeta Mellark! You can't scare me like that! Pregnancy bladders are uncontrollable when you scare me like that." Annie busts through the living room door in a fit of stupid sounding giggles. "Well…now I have to go back to your house. Peeta startled me by popping up when I first woke up and I peed my pants." I look down and see an obvious stain on her pants. I cover my mouth to restrain the laugh that wants to escape.  
"But I'd be more than fine if you stayed."  
"Annie Odair!"  
"Oh come on! Is it so bad I want to see my two best friends, and star crossed lovers, get together?"  
Annie grins like a happy five year old and skips out the door. I shake my head and turn around and realize I'm face to face with Peeta. His face heats up red and he takes a step back.

* * *

"Sorry…Umm. So…"  
"I better get going Peeta…I don't trust a pregnant Annie running around the house alone."  
He silently chuckles and nods in agreement.  
"Bye Peeta." I feel my mouth wanting to turn up in a smile at the cause of Annie's quick exit. I hide it immediately. _Don't lead him on and leave him to think you're happy with your life...that I'm repaired and ready to start a new with him.  
_  
"Bye Katniss." Peeta tucks the same piece of hair behind my ear and leans in closer to me and whispers something so quietly that I barely can make it out.

**"I'd wait for you."** I am taken back to when I said I wasn't worth the wait…and I can't help the chills that cover my body when he says that.

My cheeks threaten to turn red so I turn away and walk out the front door.  
I listen to the snow crunch beneath my feet and I try to figure out what it is that I feel for Peeta. I shake my head at the thought of having to search for any kind of emotions that my body could possibly contain. I walk up my front steps and realize I had avoided the pathway; this was my first time walking in the snow covered grass. I let out a crooked smile and I touch my lips in disbelief that I actually smiled for real. I then reach out for the door handle and swing the door open without any kind of regrets.

"Hey Katniss!" Annie walks out from the kitchen with a giant bag of something. I walk closer and the bag reads in giant blue letters _Sugar Cubes_. Annie crunches them happily and holds her hand out  
"Sugar cube?" I take a few and can't help but laugh. I take a seat next to Annie who has her feet propped up on the arm of the couch. I touch her stomach and feel baby Dillan move around,

"Annie…he's so big. Do you not think he should come out already?"  
"Well the baby is going to be big before it comes out Katniss…It can't be tiny or he won't live."  
"Right, stupid question…sorry."  
"It's fine Katniss. I agree Dillan is getting pretty heavy to carry around inside of me."  
"I can only imagine."  
"Sugar cubes help to calm him down, only a couple more weeks until he's out for good."  
I slowly nod and stand up in hopes I can get to bed before I'm questioned by Annie.  
"Hold it right there Ms. Everdeen! You haven't told me about what's with you and Peeta!"

* * *

Annie rolls to her feet and waddles after me down the hallway. Annie climbs into the bed with me so I can't escape her questions.  
"I know there is something there on Peeta's side of the star crossed lovers."  
"Annie…I really don't want to talk about this…"  
"I'm your best friend's wife…and I hope that I'm actually your friend as well…because you're my best friend Katniss, I tell you everything."  
"I know you do. You're right, Finnick was my best friend. But you are too Annie."  
"Alright that's nice. Now tell me what is with you two!"  
"I don't even know, Annie…I am barely capable of taking care of myself, I don't feel anything but the occasional angry spell…and when I'm with you I'm happier then I normally am…but I don't think I'm capable of any kind of love, responsibility, or even caring for somebody."  
"I'm going to go get some water."

Annie scoots out of the bed and right before she reaches the doorway she slips and falls. I jump out of bed and run over to her. "Annie! Are you okay?" I squat down next to her and shake her shoulder. When Annie turns over and laughs her head off.

"Yep you're definitely not capable of "caring"."  
"Annie! That wasn't funny."  
"It kinda was…and that showed us both that you're capable of feeling things. Now show **Peeta** that."  
I blush and crawl back into bed. Annie waves goodnight and goes into the room across the hallway and we both fall asleep.

* * *

The morning arrives quickly and I find I haven't had but one round of nightmares. I stretch and think about what I should do for the day. _Peeta's coming_! What starts as panic turns to a weird feeling in the bottom of my stomach…_I haven't felt this since when I was with Peeta on the beach during the quarter quell. There's no way I am feeling this way_.

I refuse to accept it, but I spring from my bed and shower off quickly. I pull on a blue shirt and jeans and braid my hair as I walk down the hallway. I look into the hall mirror and nod in the improvement of my appearance now that the black bags under my eyes are slowly fading.

I hear a knock at the door; I quickly walk over, swing the door open, and I'm pretty shocked by what I see…

* * *

**Alright that's it for this week everyone! Review and I'll PM you a review! But, what did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know! I am considering changing my update day to Thursdays if that's alright for you guys! Thank you again for the support on the last chapter and I hope to talk to you all soon! Stay wonderful 3**

~Freezethemoment


	7. Smile

**Hey Everyone, I know I said that I was changing my update day to Thursday...but I am unable to tomorrow (bad timing I know). I made this chapter a little longer because I won't be able to send out previews till Tuesday. I REALLY CAN'T THANK YOU ALL FOR THE READS/REVIEWS/FAVORITES/FOLLOWS! You guys are literally the best readers around! I will shut up now so you can get to today's chapter! I love you guys! Hehehe :)**

* * *

And I'm pretty surprised by what I see…

"Hi Peeta." I can't help the single laugh that escapes my lips when I see Peeta at my doorstep with safety goggles on. He gives me his signature Peeta smile and walks in tugging in several bags of tools behind him. His blue eyes are bright and shining brighter than last night.  
"Ready to get the rest of these horrible hardwood floors out of your living room?"  
"Past ready."  
"Well then let's get started." I sit down on the floor next to Peeta while he selects what tool he's going to attempt to use to get the flooring up. If I didn't know any better I'd swear that he didn't have a clue as to what he was doing. I pull out a couple larger crowbars and hand one to him with a smirk.  
"So…I was thinking I'd help you out today…if that's alright." I raise an eyebrow to mock what I see as his cluelessness in the department of tools.

"Yeah…that'd be great. Thanks. But if you don't mind…can you do me a favor?"  
"Sure." I immediately regret saying yes before hearing what he wanted me to promise. I bite the inside of my cheek and look around the room. Peeta extends his hand and I see him holding out a pair of safety goggles identical to his. I crack and a smile escapes, I slowly take the goggles and pull them on.  
"Can't have you losing one of those beautiful silver eyes…"  
"Peeta…you're blind if you-" Peeta puts his finger to my lips.  
"I'm entitled to an opinion. You don't always have to fight back Katniss…" He half smiles and before my cheeks can turn completely red I look down and get my bearings.  
"Let's start on the floor…"  
"Alright."

Me and Peeta work in silence for little while. I can't take the silence, and I have come to realize Peeta isn't going to push me and be the one to break the silence.  
"How long do you think the project will take?"  
"Already tired of me in your house huh?"  
"No…I was-just-I-I mean…"  
"With you working by my side…I'm thinking no longer than a couple weeks."  
"Thank you for helping me with this." I smile shyly and look at me feet.  
"I'm glad I can help."

We have a few conversations throughout the whole day, with Annie's help for the first half, but most of the time I try to fight the weird feeling in the bottom of my stomach and stay focused on the floors and not cutting myself with the wood chips flying everywhere. Annie leaves half way through the day to look around twelve, and it honestly makes me nervous being here with Peeta alone_, now who will break the awkward silence_?

By four in the afternoon I am exhausted. I am panting and my arms feel weak after not using them for so long. After the entire day of tearing up floors my arms are guaranteed to be sore tomorrow.  
"Peeta…I'm tired, can we stop for today?" I watch Peeta pull up one last plank of wood. I stop and take a look around and realize we have finished tearing up the entire living room. I break out in a smile to see the hard flooring vanish. Peeta stands up and smiles down at me.  
"Just let me haul the wood out of here and I can be out of your hair for the rest of the day."  
"You know it's not like that…it's just, I'm just tired Peeta.."  
"You can go lie down and I'll haul the wood out and tell you when I'm done."  
I nod and walk back to my bedroom and flop onto the bed. I feel like I have just closed my eyes when I hear a knock on my bedroom door.

"Hey Katniss…the wood is gone. I'm leaving now. But I did bring you some food I baked this morning before I came over." He gently smiles and waits by the door way. I look down at the bag and it reads:

_Bonfire tonight? My house? Six-ish?_

I give him a half smile and give a slight nod. Peeta waves "See you tonight." I hear the door click shut and I can't help the feeling I get in my stomach. After a whole day of holding in this feeling I'm ready to just let it run its course. I pull open the bag and eat the cookies Peeta brought me. All of a sudden I hear yet another knock at the door. _Did Peeta forget something_? I swing the door open while I swallow my last bite of cookie, I find myself almost choke on it when I see who is at the door…

* * *

"Plutarch?"  
"There's my beautiful Mockingjay!"

My eyes are open so wide they feel like they just might pop out of my head at any moment. The last of the cookie seems to be lodged in my throat and I begin coughing what sounds like my lung out. My face heats up from the last of air, the mush that was my cookie sits on Plutarch's black shiny capital shoe. I look up and wipe my mouth, he shakes his head in utter disgust, and he must want something since he does not seem to be angry about his shoe.  
"Sorry."  
"It's quite alright Katniss dear…" He grabs my shoulders and pulls me into something between a hug and a squeezing me until I can't breathe. I ease back and look into his light brown eyes and search for the lie beneath them. Knowing Plutarch there has to be some kind of angle, as to why he left his large home in the capital.

"What do you want from me Plutarch?" He sighs out and flits his eyes around.  
"Why does there have to be something in it for me when I simply want to come and see my favorite star crossed lovers?"  
"No Plutarch. We won't do an interview."  
"But Mockingjay—I mean Katniss. Would it not be better for me to do it than the paparazzi?"  
"You hire some of the paparazzi, for your little magazine."  
"Okay…but I can keep them off your backs if you just do an interview or two with me."  
"No way. I refuse." I shut the door without another word to Plutarch and walk into my living room and throw myself onto the couch and kick my feet up.  
"Come on Katniss! Open up!"  
"Not going to happen!" It takes about an hour before either of us speaks out.  
"I guess I'll just have to go talk to Peeta and Haymitch."

* * *

I jump to my feet. The last thing we need is the ever so perfect Peeta running his mouth and agreeing to some insane interview with me and Haymitch. By the time I open the door and look around I see Plutarch walking up Peeta's front steps. I run out barefoot and I reach his porch as Peeta answers the door. I am bent over trying to catch my breath. I hold my hand up and breathe out a few words. "Don't. Agree. To. Anything." Peeta grabs the hand I extended and pulls me into his house and into a chair. "How's my favorite crazy, mixed up, hijacked half of the star crossed lovers?" Plutarch laughs at his own joke and turns a little pink in his cheeks. Peeta's jaw clenches, he snaps his head around to Plutarch and jerks his arm towards the door.

"Plutarch, out. Now!"  
"Aw come now bread boy calm it down. I was just kidding."  
"First off, don't ever call me that again. Second off, did you not hear me when I told you to get your ass out of my house?" Plutarch is taken back by the unexpected fire from Peeta. He stumbles backwards and shuts the door behind him. Peeta's eyes soften when they turn back to me and he just holds my hand.

* * *

"Tell me what happened…"  
I nod and proceed to tell Peeta about Plutarch's request for an interview. Peeta's eyes fill with pure anger.  
Not venom, but just plain anger.  
"I can't believe he thinks we'd just…hop back into the spotlight like that." Peeta's fists tighten. I rest my hands on them and they slowly release the pressure.  
"I know…Peeta. You won't agree to an interview without me…will you?"  
"I'd never do that. After all if I gave them an interview it doesn't mean they'd leave you alone. It'd just make them hunger for the whole star crossed lovers act." I nod and stare down at my feet.  
"I never want to do another interview, with Ceaser, with Plutarch. With anyone, or for anyone in the capital…"  
"Me either."  
"Thanks for backing me up Peeta."  
"Hey we started this thing of the star crossed lovers together. We're going to end it together."  
I feel my mouth gape open ever so slightly, and I resist the urge of blushing that creeps up on me. The tugging of the smile is almost impossible for me to control but I catch it just in time. Peeta closes his eyes and lets out a soundless laugh and gives me a toothless smile.  
"I-I'm-sorry…I didn't mean we were together in that way or anything... I just meant-" He opens his eyes at me and looks up at me from the floor. I go out on a limb and kiss his forehead quickly.

"It's alright. I know exactly what you meant." I give a quick half smile and stand up to my feet.  
"Well I guess that's enough drama for the "star crossed lovers" for one day." Peeta rises to his feet and scratches the back of his head in embarrassment over his last comment. "I think so too. I guess I'll see you tomorrow and we'll start tearing up the hardwood floors in your hallways." Peeta walks me to the door, I take one step out into the brisk wind and clouds threatening yet another round of snow. Peeta waves goodbye and sets his hand on the edge of his door to close it.  
"So, does that mean I'm uninvited to the bonfire tonight?" His eyes widen in horror.  
"I'm sorry Katniss, I thought you wouldn't want to after Plutarch coming by."  
"Aw come on. Since when have I let Plutarch keep me from something I want to do?"

* * *

Peeta smiles brightly down at me, this time it's me that waves goodbye. I start walking back home, and decide to keep walking over to Haymitch's. Haymitch's porch was removed long ago after he fell down it and cut his own drunken face. I walk up the long pathway and knock on the door with force hoping he's not too drunk to open the door. I hear someone fumble to turn the door knob. _Great, I have drunk Haymitch again_.

The door creaks open and I'm greeted by that same ugly goose face that is Bernard. I let out a squeak of a squeal and jump back several feet. Haymitch comes to the door soon after and scoops up Bernard. "Good girl Dudley." Haymitch throws the goose back into the depths of his house and motions for me to follow him inside. I tuck the stray strand of hair behind my ear, control my shaking legs and follow Haymitch into his house. I'm not surprised by the strong smell of liquor radiating from his house. I decide to stop breathing through my nose, I walk into the living room and instead of the normal mess I'm used to I am greeted by something completely different. I take a look around the room and realize it's not shirts that are covering the room.

Its geese.

Not just Bernard or the one Haymitch called Dudley. It's at least twenty of them.  
"What is this Haymitch?!"  
"What? You mean all the geese?"  
"No Haymitch I mean the water ring on the coffee table." I shoot him a sarcastic glare and he sends one straight back to me.  
"You can't be serious that you got these just for that devil of a goose, Bernard."  
"Oh course not. Maybe I enjoy their company…" I shake my head in dismay and roll my eyes. _Someone has spiraled downhill majorly since the war_.

"What even brings you to my house?" He shoots me a half annoyed, half confused look and picks up two of the geese by their feet and hold them upside down. "Don't Bernard and Dudley make a lovely couple?" _Okay he's definitely still the same drunk I've always known. Maybe a little less bitter._  
"Haymitch…how do you even know which one is Bernard anymore?...They all look the same."  
"I think I know my own children." _Okay he's lost it. More than me and Peeta combined_. One of the stupid geese won't stop pecking me. I look down at it and see a small scar on the beak and I kick it a few feet away.  
"Umm Haymitch. I found Bernard. The little idiot tried to bite."  
"My lord, you're right!" Haymitch tosses the male goose he had been holding and strokes Bernard.  
"I just came here to make sure you don't sign any of us up with an interview with Plutarch. Okay?"  
"Yes, yes, yes. Now if you're just going to sit here kicking my geese you may leave now."  
Bernard makes one more bite at my ankle and stare at this goose. "I'll still cook you." I shut the door behind me and hear Haymitch let out happy drunk laughs as he jumps around with his geese_. I guess we all have our way of dealing. But I know I'll never resort to geese. Terrible creatures they are_. I fall onto my couch in relief that I was able to be rid of Plutarch so easily. I doze off to sleep for a few hours.

* * *

By the time I wake up it's going on fifteen till six. I run back to the bathroom and shower off the sweat from the last round of nightmares and pull on a long sleeve solid grey shirt, and some jeans. I throw on a red scarf as I begin to think of how cold the air was with the sun up earlier. I braid my hair back sloppily and look at myself in the mirror. I look dreadful with the black bags under my eyes, but I walk out into my backyard and head for Peeta's I see him bent over trying to start a fire and I crouch down beside him and smile at him. "Here let the girl on fire, give it a go." I take the match and the fire ignites as soon as it touches the wood. Peeta chuckles at his own ignorance, and pulls out a blanket for us to sit on.

"You look beautiful as always."  
"Ha ha ha. Let's stop lying." I sit closer to Peeta then I had originally intended on, but the warmth of his body seems warmer than the fire itself. We sit in an awkward silence for a while before Peeta breaks it.

"I saw you head over to Haymitch's. How is he doing, I haven't seen him in a while."  
"He's good only half drunk. But…he has found at least twenty more geese friends…"  
"More than just Bernard?!"  
"A ton more."  
"Wow…but hey, at least he found a way to distract himself."  
"I guess so…"  
"I brought out some food I made." He motions towards a basket a few feet behind us. I reach back for it happily and open it to find a lot of the same food from our cave feast. I pull out the rolls that are still warm and hold them one in my hands for a few seconds before devouring it.

"Glad to see you got your appetite back."  
"Your food always makes me hungry."  
"Well that's a good thing isn't it?"  
"Well depends, are we talking about my stomach getting filled or me getting fat?" He raises an eyebrow at me and I realize I don't have that excuse anymore. Since the war ended I have lost fifteen pounds, and honestly I look pretty sickly on a day to day basis.

"Right…I need to eat more."  
Me and Peeta finish the food over about an hour's time. I decided I was going to pace myself so I wouldn't puke it all up. Even though Peeta offered to make the food for me, all over again. I feel exhausted after having a full stomach, I end up falling asleep with my head resting on Peeta's shoulder. He keeps his arm around me for what he says is warmth…but we both know it's feelings on his part. On my part…_I haven't the slightest idea_. I nap without nay nightmares and when I wake up I find Peeta staring down at my face.

"Sorry… I wasn't watching you the whole time…"  
"Of course you weren't. How long was I asleep?"  
"Four hours…"  
"Why did you let me sleep so long? I thought we were going to hang out. Not me napping like always."  
"You didn't have any nightmares like when we shared a room in the second games. I couldn't bring myself to disturb that." _Did I really not have any nightmares_? I let out a light laugh and pull myself to my feet.

* * *

"I better get back home Peeta…"  
"Alright. Thanks for coming over here."

I smile groggily in response, my eyes wander and I realize all the hardwood floors from my house has vanished from the pile in Peeta's yard. "Peeta…was our bonfire my living room floor?" Peeta lets out his endearingly loud laugh and throws his head back.

"I thought you'd like that."  
"I do…" I let out a couple seconds of laughs and contain it quickly.  
"Don't do that…be shy about your smile and laugh. It's beautiful. Just like you."

I blush again only proving Peeta's point further. I feel something nudge my legs with force and I stumble into Peeta's arms. We look up at each other for only a moment and I shy away. I kick that stupid goose, Dudley, Bernard. Who or whatever it is; and breathe out in embarassment.

"I'll see you in the morning Peeta."  
"Alright. See you then…"

I watch Peeta go into his house and I begin to head back to mine. I smile at the ground, I look up to start to start on the pathway of my house, and something bright flashes in my eyes.

"Smile Mockingjay!"…

* * *

**Hey Guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know! I'd love to hear everybody's thoughts on the direction I'm taking this story! Don't forget to review for your preview of next week's chapter! I can honestly say I enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it hahaha :) I am looking forward to talking to you guys soon! Stay lovely and wonderful! Till next time my dears!**

~Freezethemoment


	8. This Moment

**Hello my lovely how are you all doing on this fine update day? Hehe I'm quite happy today, can you tell? I just wanted to say a quick thank you for the read, reviews, favorites, and follows! You guys seriously "light up my world like nobody else" haha one direction pun. Had to go there xD You guys are awesome. Now it's that time of the chapter for me to shut up :)**

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"Smile Mockingjay!"

I let out a squeal and try to get my bearings before I begin to charge for the scrawny man with the camera. The anger bubbles up inside of me and I run towards the man to shove him as hard as I can. I would like to do more damage but without my bow, I feel useless. My push only sends him back a couple steps and he just chuckles at me, he continues with the bright flashes of the camera. That only hurt my eyes more and more each time.

I try snatching the camera a couple times before he sets off the flash right into my eyes. I scream out and try to figure out where the man went. After all the light flashes I can't see two feet in front of me. I feel a strong pair of arms grab my shoulders. I yell out louder in hopes Peeta will come to help me from this member of, what must be Plutarch's camera crew, grabbing me.

"Let go of me you son of a-"  
"Katniss it's me, Peeta." Because of my lack of trust in anybody I just continue to thrash around. I begin coughing from yelling out so much at this moment. When I direct my attention back up, I see the same steady blue eyes looking down at me with sweat beginning to form on his forehead. I burry my face into Peeta's chest and feel the tears begin to fall out. Peeta leans down close to my ear and whispers calmly to me. "I'll be right back Katniss. Stay here." His eyes go completely hard as stone and sure enough the warm protective arms leave me.

I turn around to find Peeta, he is walking quickly over to the paparazzi with an unnerving smile. "Come for your close up bread boy?" Peeta throws his head back and laughs, all of a sudden the smile is wiped off and his expression is fuming with anger. Peeta catches the photographer off guard and snatches the camera with ease. He throws it to the ground and the laughter of the photographer stops instantaneously. Peeta then continues to slam his fist against the man; and soon the man is on the ground bleeding heavily from his nose, he is guaranteed to have a least a couple broken limb, he is also guaranteed to have a black and blue body by morning. Peeta turns around to me sharply, and I begin to fear for my own life. _Is it possible he's in the middle of an attack? Am I his next target_? Peeta runs towards me and I close my eyes in acceptance, waiting for what could be my death.

_This moment, right here, is why we're unrepairable. I'm accepting death without fear, and Peeta is charging towards me to attack and kill me._

There is nothing that could change that we could never be together.

* * *

Peeta's hands wrap around my face, I open my eyes and find him inspecting my face. I'm paralyzed in fear and confusion. _Why isn't he choking me_? When I let my eyes meet his I can tell that everything is going to be okay, he's isn't going to let anything happen to me, and he sees Katniss. Not a mutt.

"Katniss, are you okay?" I wipe away the few tears that fall down my cheeks and when Peeta pulls me into his large arms I burry my face in his shoulder. He comfortingly strokes my back and just lets out a few slight noises to let me know it'll be alright okay. I nod subtly into his shoulder, when I open my eyes I see the same bright flashes going off they are in the distance but still present.

"P-P-Peeta." I stammer over the first word, and can barely find any air left to breathe. I shake and grasp onto his shoulder even tighter. Peeta rests his hand on my cheek and just stares into my eyes.  
"What's wrong Katniss?" His eyes widen in panic over my sudden change of mood.  
"Where Twelve is rebuilding…" Peeta turns around and sees the camera flashes in an instant.

Before I can really tell what's happening I feel those flash backs coming back on and the current world around me seems to be fading. I am still haunted by the images of Prim, the explosion was bright, and I'm guessing it's the flashing of the cameras that triggered this flash back. I try to force the picture out of my head. Soon after following images of Prim comes Rue's death. Eventually thanks to the thought of my ally, comes the images of Finnick. The mutts that I couldn't save him from, even though he was the closest thing I had to a best friend. Even though I'm not asleep, I've been screaming like during my nightmares, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm slung over Peeta's shoulder being carried into my house, I would have collapsed on my knees and pulled my hair out. My eyes feel weak from the flashbacks and I know underneath my eyes must be puffy. I scoot into my closet as soon as Peeta sets me down and I hold my knees close to my chest and rock back and forth gently while holding my hands over my ears. I'd give anything at this moment to have the flashbacks leave me. _This must be what Peeta struggles with_.

I hear his footsteps come closer and Peeta doesn't let himself into the closet, instead he just takes his normal place outside the door. _Not pushing, not forcing, just being…Peeta_. I feel so terribly alone at this moment that I open the closet door and tug on Peeta's wrist for him to come in with me. He obliges quickly and closes the door behind him. It takes me several minutes to realize Peeta doesn't want to push me to talk. That I'll have to start the conversation if I want one…

* * *

"Peeta…I thought…we go rid of Plutarch…why were they all out there?"  
"He didn't get his interviews…he needs something to report to Ceaser with." He has sickened look plastered onto his face. I peer through the hair that is covering my face, and I just stare at his face for a second or two. I look back down at my feet and try to figure out why I can't help this overwhelming feeling of sadness that comes over me. I want to go back into my cave, and close everyone else out. I even begin to feel like I want to force Peeta and Haymitch out of my life.

"Look at you; you're a mess all because of those cameras." I can tell he is trying to hide the anger in his face. At this moment I feel like a lifeless body just sitting here, nothing more. Peeta turns my body so my back is to him. He pulls out the hair tie at the bottom of what used to be my braid. He carefully uses his fingers to comb through my hair, he slowly braids my long hair back down my back. I turn back towards the door, and Peeta takes in a large breath before saying another word.  
"It's okay if you don't want to come out yet Katniss. But I need to go turn the TV on and see what's going on out there on Ceaser's show." I feel my legs shake a little, and when Peeta's warmth leaves my side, I feel more lost than ever.  
He takes a look back at me, I hold my hand up to him on impulse and he gently pulls me to my feet. I'm standing there looking up at this boy that I've known since I was five. Suddenly I don't feel quite as alone. I surprise myself at what I do next. I take a step towards him and wrap my arms around his neck, his arms wrap around my scrawny waist and I feel his smile form against my cheek. I don't dare smile, I haven't smiled in so many months, I don't really remember how. As usual I find myself pulling away first, Peeta keeps my hand in his and I allow him to lead me to the hallway and we sit on the small couch in the spare room with the TV. Peeta flips on the TV quickly and sits down beside me. He holds my hand and strokes the top of it with his thumb, even though I know his attention is on Ceaser who is just now signing on for his late night show.

* * *

Ceaser's normal blue hair is pulled back into a ponytail, he rattles on and on for a while about the latest colors of the season and I begin to relax just a moment too soon.

"After the break, we have an update for all of you about our favorite victors, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! Are our favorite star crossed lovers finally going to tie the knot? New pictures indicate our girl on fire is igniting a spark in Peeta's heart. Stay tuned for more!" Ceaser lets out one of the most sickening laughs I've ever heard from him.

I bring my knees back up to my chest and close my eyes.

"I know it's not that way Katniss…"  
"Peeta…I-"  
"No Katniss. I know it's not."  
"It's just…I need a friend right now Peeta. I don't want the "star crossed lovers" act."  
It startles me how hard it was to get that sentence out. My stomach hurts as soon as the words left my mouth. I can't help but somewhat regret them. But it's already out. Nothing can change that either. The air suddenly becomes colder than ever.

Before I can apologize or add anything onto the last comment I screwed up and said, Ceaser's face is on the TV and pictures of me and Peeta are popping up on the screen. Of me asleep on his shoulder, while he is smiling down at me as we sit by the fire. Of our hug goodbye, and of the embrace when he was making sure I was okay. I close my eyes and try to accept I have the capital staring at me and of all the rumors that are going to start from the pictures.

* * *

I stand up and begin to walk out of the room I run into Annie. She actually decided to tour Panem so she's been on the go a lot recently. I almost make her fall over as I hug her.  
"I had the report on. I'm sorry Katniss. But at least you have Peeta…"  
"I pushed him away too Annie. I told him I just needed a friend."  
"Katniss, he needs a friend too."  
"Who's side are you on?"  
"Katniss! I am not picking sides!-"

I push Annie and that enormous bulge of a baby out of the way and storm into my bedroom; I pull on some sweat pants and crawl into bed without another word. Right before I drift off to sleep I realize how many nightmares will crawl into my dreams after today's events. Sure enough they do.

* * *

I thrash around and I feel someone gently shaking my shoulder. My eyes pop open desperate for reality after the nightmares that twist everything I know. I'm meted by Peeta bent down on his knees. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks like he is half dead. The stress is written everywhere on his face.

"You were having a nightmare. I'm going to head home…"  
"Peeta…I'm still healing. What I said earlier…I shouldn't have said that when I'm so confused."  
"It's alright Katniss. Good night."  
"Please…don't go. You're the first person that pulled me out of that depression. Please…just stay." Peeta looks at me full of confusion.  
"Won't that be weird for you Katniss?"  
"No. I need at least one decent night of sleep." Peeta half smiles at my joke and continues to stand awkwardly by the bed. I scoot over and give his wrist one tug towards the bed and he slowly and cautiously slides onto the bed. He doesn't make any effort to cradle me like in the second games. But having him here to keep the nightmares away is more than what I should be asking of a friend. I look up at Peeta and catch his glance.

"Peeta, are you going to tell me why you're so stressed?" I touch the creases of worry on his forehead and he shies away a bit.  
"Katniss, I'd really rather not."  
"Peeta…please."  
"Not now Katniss. You need to sleep. Maybe in the morning."  
I crinkle my nose in defeat and just lay my head back down close to Peeta.

* * *

_This moment. Right here, right now. Is the first time I can see that this is the one thing that could change. Something that I never even thought of. Maybe…we can be repairable. _

_I close my eyes and breathe in the comforting smells of Peeta and listen to his breathing even out. I fall asleep within seconds._

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**Hey Guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! (If you're new here 1review=1preview!) Thank you guys so much for reading! I shall talk to you on Thursday! 3**

~Freezethemoment


	9. Make Way!

**Hey Everybody! So sorry about the update being a day late! I had musical auditions last night and wasn't home until late, so I hated to update so late in the day! This chapter is leading up into a lot of big events happening, this is the last chapter leading up and into the action and climax(s) of this fanfiction! You guys are so amazing! Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and favoriting! You guys light up my world! Here's today's chapter!**

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I wiggle only an inch and already I feel his hand stroke my hair.  
"Morning Kat."  
"Hi."  
I close my eyes in complete happiness and realize fumbling over my words, and living in fear of rejection last night has paid off. I'm beside Peeta, and something rises in my stomach, rather it's hope or something more…I'm not sure, but right here, right now. I don't even care about anything but Peeta, and soaking up every moment of happiness possible in this moment. I lay there completely content for a few minutes before I hear a knock at the door. I swing my feet over the edge of the bed, and hobble to the doorway.  
"Here let me answer it, if it's the paparazzi I-"  
"No. Stay here. The last thing we need is a picture of that, on Ceaser's morning show." I gesture towards his hair with a slight laugh. His hand flies up and tries to smooth the rest of hair down. I jog to the door and I'm greeted by Haymitch's face. But instead of the drunken features I have come to know I see him holding some geese by their feet. Before I can access the whole picture of what is on my doorstep I'm being shoved aside by Haymitch. The same horrifying flashes go off, and I let out a quick squeal. Several microphones are shoved into my face and about eight reporters fall over one another to catch every single breath I take.  
"Mockingjay! Is it true Peeta's changed?"  
"Girl on fire, is it true you and Mellark are getting married today?"  
"Is it true that Peeta killed that reporter?"  
"Do you not fear those mood swings?"  
"Mockingjay! Can you explain exactly what's wrong with Peeta?"  
The confusion is apparently obvious on my face, because they all stare at each other for a moment. My face falls and I can't help when I grab a reporter by the collar, "How did you know about…the reporter?" My stomach is turning and I feel the air leave my lungs. I feel a hand grab my shirt and pull me back into the house. The door is slammed shut and Peeta comes running out of the bedroom, his blue eyes are filled with fear and confusion. I stomp over to him and push his chest, "What are all of those reporters outside talking about! Is that what you weren't telling me about last night?" His eyes look around the room in confusion and fear. "Answer me Mellark or I swear today will be your last day!"….

His hand extends out and he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I smack his hand till it falls to his side. Any trust that has been built is beginning to dissolve into the winter air.

"Don't touch me!"  
"Katniss, can I at least explain-" He takes a step towards me and I push him back several paces.  
"Kat…please…" He pulls me against his body and the heart beat that acted as a lullaby last night has turned into a feeling of regret in trust, and anger. I slam my foot onto his, as hard as I can. He lets out some kind of squeak from slightly the pain, I then knee him in a place I know must have hurt. He crouches over in complete pain and just looks up at me in disbelief. My grey eyes see right through his blue ones. I don't feel anything for him. The fact that he can lie to me and keep me in the dark without any sort of apology is unforgivable. Peeta again half reaches his arm out, before I can hit him again, Haymitch intervenes and pushes us apart. I land on my bottom and knock my head against the wall. I feel dizzy and if it weren't for the geese approaching quickly, I wouldn't have stood up so fast. The world is spinning and I grasp onto Haymitch's shoulder for support. He picks me up and throws me onto the couch. He motions for Peeta to join me; I sit up quickly so he can't touch me again. His blue eyes are filled with sadness, and he awkwardly sits on the opposite side of the couch.

"Now would you two like to tell me what the hell is wrong, and what got those reporters all fired up?"  
Me and Peeta remain silent for a long time. I know that they had pictures of "the star crossed lovers" but that should have held them off for several more weeks, if anything.  
_That's when it occurs me it's all Peeta's fault. There is something he's not telling me. Something that is affecting my everyday life. And I'm not going to stand for it_! I jump to my unsteady legs and stand by Peeta.  
"You're the reason that I can't start to heal! Now you're going to tell me what made you so worried last night. It's not just affecting you. It's ruining my life too!" As much anger as there is bubbling in me, tears begin forming into my eyes. I squeeze them tight to prevent any signs of crying that was evident on my face. When I open my eyes Peeta is on the verge of crying as well. But he doesn't try to hide it. I scowl and take my seat once again. Despite my udder hatred for him right now, I don't necessarily want him to hate his life any more than he has to. Before I can sit down Haymitch shoves me down.  
"As I was saying…before that big Mockingjay mouth of yours opened…What got the paparazzi so close on your tails?"  
"I don't know…the boy over there didn't even tell me last night."  
"Kat-"  
"Just shut your-"  
"That's enough out of you two! That is not the issue. Now Peeta, what is this that I hear about you killing some reporter?"  
"I-I-I didn't kill him. Physically handicapped maybe…but I didn't kill him. I swear I didn't." Peeta keeps his usual steady voice and just speaks what I know is the truth. _Of course that doesn't mean I'll back him up_.  
"Is what the boy saying true?" Haymitch's grey eyes meet mine, and something about them makes it impossible for me to avoid eye contact any further.  
"I think."  
"Back to two word sentences, are we?" I feel the frown growing wider on my face, and I just look back at Haymitch with a blank expression.  
"Shut up."  
"Haymitch…I-I was protecting Katniss. Let them blame me. Not her."  
"Well according to Ceaser's show last night…you're both wanted for an interview in the capital. Mr. and Mrs. Mellark." I try to ignore the Mellark part and go fourth with the question for interviews.

"Haymitch, what do you mean we are wanted? For the record that was seven words."  
"Ha ha. Funny. And you saw the broadcast. They don't want Mockingjay or the beloved Peeta Mellark. They want the star crossed lovers…and they won't stop until they get it."  
I think everything over, and try to think of any alternative. There isn't one. Any way I work it, I have to do an interview.  
"I'm going to go call Plutarch." I grab Haymitch's arm before he can walk away,  
"I swear if you call him you can't expect star crossed lovers to make their reappearance."  
"Sure sweetheart."  
Haymitch walks back down the hallway and into my spare room with the phone. I hear the door click shut, it takes several minutes for what I had been dreading to happen. Mellark opens his mouth.

"Katniss…I'm sorry. I thought I was going what would be best for you…and us."  
"Peeta…I-"  
"No. Look I want you to know, after this interview. I'll stay out of your life."  
Before I can say anything else Haymitch is barreling into the living room.  
"Plutarch is going to be here in-"  
"Where's my favorite star crossed lovers?" Plutarch's repulsive face prances right into my living room. He sits down in a chair and he looks me and Peeta over. After the incident of the news last night, there isn't one part of me that trusts him.  
"You two ready to hop back into the spotlight?"  
"No."  
"Oh well…All I'm asking is one interview. One little interview, and I'll leave you alone."  
"Just one?" Peeta has the most serious and skeptical look I've ever seen his face hold.  
"Well one interview is all that they need of the star crossed lovers. After all they really haven't heard much from you since coming back to twelve."  
"We are not the star crossed lovers!" I jump to my feet and glare him in the eyes.  
"Kid, give the capital people what they want. They'll stop sending me messages for reports on you. Simple as that."  
"We'll do it." Peeta leans forward and shakes Plutarch's hand. My jaw drops in the betrayal laid upon me. _I hate you forever Peeta Mellark_. Peeta leans over to me and whispers in my ear. "I'm going to medal in your life one last time. For one last interview." I decide not to do anything now. But when that boy is least expecting it, he can expect and arrow through the head. Plutarch slaps his knees in what he wants to try and pass as excitement.  
"Now come on you two!" I unsteadily rise to my feet and am pulled to the door by Haymitch.  
"Smiles everyone."  
Peeta reaches out and grabs my hand. I dig my nails into it. He winces a little in pain, which sends a bit of satisfaction through me. "Knock it off you two." Haymitch shoves my shoulder, and I try to hide the scowl written on my face, because that's when the door swings open. Peeta whispers to me,  
"one last time." Plutarch raises his arms and lets out a sickening laugh.

"Make way for the star crossed lovers!"….

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**Hey guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know, in the reviews below! I will be trying to send out previews asap! Please forgive me for being so scatter minded these days! School, musical, and writing is getting pretty crazy! I love you guys! Hehehe I'll talk to you all soon!**

Stay wonderful,

~Freezethemoment 3


	10. With me?

**Hey Everyone! I hope you're not all mad at me for missing the update day :( Life has been absolutely crazy, my head is spinning from all the things going on! The reason I decide to update when I can is so I can provide a chapter worth reading :) This one is a little shorter, but when you guys read this chapter you'll see why I had to cut it off where it is...(Sneaky huh? Haha) You guys are simply amazing, and I'd also like to apologize for the lack of previews this week..Next update will be longer to make up for it! I am MOST DEFINITELY sending out previews this week, (Since it's Thanksgiving I will be updating next Thursday) I hope you guys understand and like today's chapter! 3 **

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"Make way for the star crossed lovers!"….

I try my best to smile. But as all of Panem is painfully aware I suck at smiling. So it's no surprise when I know I must have some sort of tortured expression plastered onto my face. I try once more to make the corners of my mouth turn up in some sort of happy expression. It doesn't come easily, but Plutarch seems satisfied as his chubby arms separate the crowd of photographers and tourists. I find myself lost in thought; I barely feel Peeta's cautious hand around mine. It's such a light touch that I begin walking forward without him and leave him on the doorstep alone. I quickly and swiftly turn back around and run towards Peeta. _Remember it's just a show. That's all they want. You do this one interview well, and you'll never do another one in your lifetime_. My long braid flies behind me and I plaster a half smile on my face and wrap my arms around his and pull him excitedly towards the train Plutarch has summoned. The cameras are flashing nonstop and I can't see where I am stepping, I run into a few paparazzi but those slime balls don't matter. However it does matter is when one shoves me into Peeta's arms. The anger bubbles in me but I hide it through a sick laugh. Peeta looks down at me as he always has and simply kisses my forehead, quick and simple, yet it just annoys me further. _Yeah suck it up now Mellark_. I ease back to my feet and stumble "happily" onto the train, pulling Peeta behind me. As soon as I hear that door shut, I throw his hand down and storm off back into the train. I hear his footstep following close behind, and I slam the door right in his face. "One last time Katniss, I'm sorry." He leaves quicker than I had expected. Rather its relief or confusion that floods my body, I'm unsure. I close my eyes and let out a long sigh and that's when I hear it…something that I had not wanted to hear for the rest of my life. Something I know could easily break me all over again. I don't hear his normal voice…I hear the voice of the man that murdered my sister.

"Hey Catnip..."

* * *

To my surprise, anger doesn't fill me the way it had directly after the war. I knew I had never wanted to see Gale Hawthorne's face ever again, as long as I lived I knew I'd hate him. But I don't feel that. I open my eyes and I greeted by his soft, slate grey eyes. He takes a few confident strides towards me and my heart skip a beat, my stomach is in knots by the time he is a few feet in front of me. I find it hard to look at him…so close. His muscular build has only increased since the last time I laid eyes on this boy…_he's really not even a boy anymore…a man_. A man who killed your sister, I remind myself. I can't keep some of the images of Prim away, but they don't scare me as bad as I thought they would when I saw Gale again. Suddenly I'm snapped out of my train of thoughts and Gale is staring into my eyes. His giant hand is waving in front of my face. I jump back a couple feet and let out some sort of squeak.  
"Are you okay Catnip?"  
"I'm fine…actually."  
"Not too scared of the big bad Gale?"  
I roll my eyes at his pathetic excuse for a joke, and he returns it with a smirk of amusement. My knees knock in the overwhelming nerves that have taken over my body. I'm sent back to our days in the woods of twelve, the carefree conversations held there, and how simple things were. I thought I'd never be able to talk to Gale again, as long as I lived. I was wrong. _Talking to Gale is effortless_. I had thought talking to Peeta had been easy, but this feeling with Gale is completely different, I don't hold anything back and I know he'll do the same. I crack what would be classified under a "quarter smile" not anything reflecting much happiness, but enough to let him know that I'm not too mad. Of course there is always going to be a sore place on my heart for Prim…That Gale caused. But yet…I'm still not convinced that my relationship with Gale is not repairable.

"Fading out again Catnip?"  
"No…? What's you issue?" I huff out an annoyed breath and stare down at my feet.  
"There's the fire I was looking for." I can't help but crack that same crooked quarter smile, and look back into his eyes. I kick my foot and I remain in silence for a while, and awkwardly sit down on the closest chair. Gale joins me moments after and I'm not too terribly startled when he clears his throat to reveal the same raspy voice I have memorized. Before he can utter much I decide to ask a question. Nothing major like I'd like to ask, but it's a start.  
"How-how's Rory?"  
"He's in two now…He's training the way those careers used to. I think he's just doing it to impress a girl there..."  
"That doesn't surprise me, with Rory." Gale licks his lips and stares down at his hands for a while before looking back up to speak to me.  
"We're both…better now. Look Katniss, about Prim…"  
"I really don't want to talk about this right now."  
"Catnip-"  
"No. I just got used to you. I don't want to open that door right now." Gale's fire pushes him further before I have to lash out.  
"Just shut up Gale! I-I-I'm trying not to live in the past, and that's all you want to talk about! So shut your mouth before I shut it for you!" He smirks and just whispers; _surely he doesn't think I can't hear_…  
"I'm sorry." _Where did the patience and manners in this man come from? Where is my Gale that would have spit something right back in my face? Of course that Gale was when we were seventeen years old. It's no wonder that he's changed_. I purse my lips and look around the room, and his eyes meet mine once more.  
"Why are you here Gale?"  
"You. Katniss, I'm here to see you…"  
"Was it not enough when I screamed in your face to never speak to me again, that day in thirteen?"  
"Since when have I listened to that little girl that almost stole my snare?"  
"Fair enough…You have me here…what did you want to say?"  
"I wanted to start over. I know things can't be the same after Prim. But I want to try. Starting with breaking you out of this interview with Mellark."  
"You can't just break me out of it Gale…They will leave me alone after the one interview."  
"They haven't left Annie Odair alone. What makes you think the Mockingjay will be different?!"

My heart sinks at Gale's words because I know it's true. I tried not to accept it; I just kept it as far away from my mind as I could. Now hearing it from another person's mouth…I know it must be true.  
"Are you really ready to be the Capital's show dog again? To marry Mellark?!"  
"Gale Hawthorne it's not…like that. We aren't getting married."  
"Until a year from now when they'll want another interview, and except more development in the star crossed lovers' relationship. The way you're just playing into this makes me sick."  
He shakes his head and looks away from me.  
"I-I-I don't want this. The capital…the interviews. Any of it."  
"Prove it. You were too scared to run away before you were reaped. Run away now. With me."  
"Gale…I can't just do that. It's much more difficult to deal with than that."  
"You don't have your mother or Prim. I only have to cart Rory around with us, and if anything he's an asset."  
"I have Haymitch…"  
"What?...No Mellark?"  
"He's a coward. I don't love him. I won't love him. Our relationship is far from repairable."  
"Then come. Haymitch and Peeta can take care of each other. They are grown men."  
"I- know I-I-I just…" Gale reaches out and grabs my hand and encases my face with his other hand and leans forward and kisses me, long, hard, heavy and burning with fire. He pulls away quickly, and half smiles at me. "We can leave whenever you're ready."  
I wipe my mouth a little and nod slowly.  
"Soon."  
I hear footsteps and I snap my head around. I only catch a glimpse of Peeta's short blonde hair walking away. I jump to my feet and run for the door. What makes me run is questionable. I'm not sure if it's for Peeta or for him not to squeal on our plan if he happened to hear it…  
"Peeta!"  
"One time…that's all I asked Katniss. You're better than him…I beginning to wonder why I even try, if you're going to waste your time on an ass like him." His blue eyes fill with sadness and anger, he turns from me sharply and storms away…

* * *

**Hey guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! You guys light up my world and I can't thank you all enough for sticking with me through this time in my life where it's getting hectic to write weekly! YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE :) Hahaha I will be sending out previews soon! Goodbye for now my lovelies!**

Stay Wonderful,

~Freezethemoment 3


	11. Prim's Advice

**Hey Everybody! Check it out, I'm right on time with the update! Haha, thank you guys so much for the wonderful reviews last time! You guys are my smile providers of the week! I am excited to say I should have another update up on Tuesday, if you guys like the direction of this chapter! Here's today's chapter! Love you guys! :)**

One quick s/o one of my long time followers is having a poll on their account! If you could go vote on it! Thanks guys! Here's the link:  
u/4171297/rebma89

* * *

I of course chase after Peeta for only a little while, before I realize I had made my choice…and that choice was Gale. Something drops in my stomach over that thought. I don't care for the idea of tying myself down to Gale. Promising something that I feel I can't keep. Something that I don't think is true with anyone…_that I am repairable_. I take a deep breath in and try to contain the pain spreading from my stomach. I feel something heavy drop onto my shoulder, I instantly jerk and bow out of its grasp. When I glance back up I realize it is only Gale. I had forgotten how quiet a man's footsteps could be after being around Peeta for so long, that it's no wonder that I jumped so, when Gale "snuck up on me".

"Everything okay Catnip?"  
"Umm, I-I-I need some time to think about some things."

I stammer over each word and finally stumble out the train door, and into a single bedroom. There's so many things flying around in my mind, it's a wonder I haven't passed out yet. I look down at my knees and they are knocking brutally against each other. I grasp my own wrists and hold them against my leg to try to condense the shaking. I crawl over to a chair and hold my knees up to my chest and bite the inside of my cheek.

_What made you agree to run away with Gale? There's still so much unsaid with Peeta. So much you haven't even tried to uncover between you and Peeta. Of course isn't there a part of you that still "knows" that you are both repairable, at least Gale has not been as mentally damaged as Peeta has. But isn't that what makes him need you_? Finally it becomes too much for my mind to bear so I have to clear my mind of everything. Any thoughts of Peeta and Gale are immediately thrown to the back bowels of my mind. The dark part that I no longer explore, the part that holds the images of Prim, of Finnick, and of every poor child killed by Snow's clutches. I hear a gentle knock at the door and I remain silent. If it is one of the guys, I know I'll plain out lose it.  
"Katniss, its Annie. Can I come in?" I have to weigh the idea, but finally decide it'd be easier to keep away "those thoughts" with the help of Annie. The door slowly creaks open and I allow it open completely. Annie's ginormous belly is the first thing that passes the door way. Annie's face has gotten a little bit pudgier thanks to all the food she's been eating. She waddles from side to side as she closes the door behind her, and sits on the edge of the bed. I humor her and pull myself over to the bed and sit next to her.  
"Hi Annie." She gently takes my hand softly strokes it with her thumb.  
"Katniss dear. Let's talk about this."  
"Talk about what, exactly?"  
"Peeta came by my room and woke me up with some rant about…Gale?"  
"Annie—I-I-I can't talk about this right now." Annie yanks her swollen ankles up onto the bed and sighs out in relief. "Katniss, I think it'd be better to talk about this now. Dillan is coming in less than a week. When you're "ready" I may not be here." I scowl at her and she remains with her same reassuring green eyes.  
"There's really not that much for me to say about it. Because, frankly. I don't even know what's going on in my head. One minute I thought I could run away with Gale without any regrets. Now I'm not so sure." Annie doesn't try to agree or protest she just nods and in her special way lets me know she understands. Annie and I stay in silence through the dinner brought to us by Haymitch. Annie eventually rises to her feet and walks out of the room, with only a few words.  
"Don't run from Peeta. Or any thoughts telling you to run before you think it through."  
I nod in acceptance, and watch Annie leave the room. The second her footsteps disappear is when I begin to feel the depth of this decision. I set the tray of food remains back onto the floor, and don't stop myself when I fall into a deep sleep. But something in this night's sleep makes me abruptly open my eyes…

* * *

"Prim? Answer me, you can't just-just…walk away…"  
"Watch me Katniss!"  
"Prim…why are you leaving me?" An overwhelming amount of despair and sadness fills my heart. I can't feel the want to go on without Prim by my side, now she's simply walking away from me. My knees are feeling unsteady and I just gasp for air to run after her. Prim's pale small body is walking slowly but surely in the opposite direction. I hold my arm towards her.  
"Why are you leaving me?" Her sky blue eyes turn back around to me and I look closely into them. They shine and she finally cracks a small smile, and turns to walk back to me. I crumble to my knees and hold my arms open for me. She runs into them and I run my fingers through her long wavy blonde hair. I can feel her tears dropping onto my shoulder.  
"It's okay now Prim. I won't let anything happen to you. You're okay now." Her small body trembles against mine and she won't stop letting out small child like whimpers.  
"Prim now…tell me why you were leaving me." She lifts her head and she suddenly looks so black under the eyes you would swear she was on death's bed. I shake her shoulder and she stares blankly at me.  
"I didn't Katniss. He made me. He killed me…" Her weak finger points behind me and I turn around to find Gale standing there. I stroke Prim's cheek and jump to my feet. I run towards Gale and pull out the bow that has suddenly appeared. I aim it right in between his eyes and feel the tears roll down my cheeks.  
"Do you have any last words, you son of a bit-" I stare intensely into his unfeeling and cold grey eyes.  
"Watch the bow Catnip. You may want to save your energy for what's behind you." I snap my head around towards Prim and I see her bent over opening the case of medical supplies.  
"Prim! Don't touch that! It's a bo-" She looks up a second later and takes a couple steps towards me, and the package explodes. I turn to Gale to shoot him. But he's gone. I then see my little sister, lying on the ground, legs blown off, and head with a cut. I run as fast as I can, but I know deep down that she's far from fixable. I prop her head up and sit beside her, stroking her small clammy hands.  
"Primrose…I'm so sorry. I-I-I…"  
"It's not your fault." The tears are welling up in her eyes and it only pains me more.  
I stroke the side of her face, and hum her favorite song. By half way through most of the blood is drained from her body and her porcelain like skin is stained, and almost translucent. Her eyes become weak and she somehow manages to raise her arms up. She cups my face, and pushes the hair out of my eyes and mouth.  
"Katniss, I need you to stop crying. I need to tell you something serious." I sniffle and wipe my eyes.  
I nod quickly, knowing my time with Prim is fading away.

"My death isn't your fault. Don't carry that guilt. But Katniss—you-you-you can't love Gale. He's no good for you."  
I find myself cracking a quarter of a smile, at my little sister still looking out for me.  
"And why's that?" She gives me one last smile and closes her eyes, her pulse slows and she barely lets out a couple more words.  
"You'll know." Her heartbeat stop, and she's so sunken in from the blood loss I can't bear to look at her. The pain is daggers through my heart, and I feel as if my throat is caving in. I stammer backwards and sit with my knees up to my chest.

* * *

I wake up in my bed in cold, wet shakes. I yell out Prim's name and feel the tear well up in my eyes. I suddenly stop wallowing my tears and self-pity. The fury continues building up in me; I no longer care for Gale. I don't have any resemblances of loving him. The only way I want to see Gale again is cold, bloodless, and dead. I stumble to my feet and slowly crack my door open. I slide through the opening and look around for some sort of bow. I'm sure there has to be one if they had the Mockingjay on this train. I open several closets and find nothing but more clothes in me and Peeta's sizes. I begin feeling mad at myself for not killing Gale before now. When I find a simple wooden bow in the last of the closets, my chest begins feeling tight. I pull it out with one single arrow, and stare at the point of it. _One shot to the head or heart, and it ends everything with Gale. It gives revenge to him, after killing my little sister. I look up and shake the tears of Prim away_.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I turn around quickly with my bow loaded and ready to shoot. I almost release the arrow straight onto target. But it's not until I'm about to let it fly, that I realize it's not the victim I had intended on.  
"Peeta? Wh-Wha-what are you doing up?"  
"I heard somebody screaming…I wanted to make sure you were okay. Or that Annie wasn't having the baby or something like that." He seems a bit taken back, by the bow aimed at his face. I lower it easily and look down in embarrassment. He rests his hand on the shaft and waits patiently for me to look up. I finally look up and I can't seem to tear my eyes away from his.  
"Katniss, I really want to talk to you. It's important."  
"What is it Peeta?" I try my best to be my usual annoyed self. But it's hard when I'm looking into his beautiful blue eyes. What scares me most, is that the longer that I'm looking into them, the more I feel protected, and at peace. My hands are shaking and when I finally release the bow, Peeta throws it over his shoulder.

* * *

"First tell me…are you mad at me?"  
"A little bit."  
"Do you hate me?"  
"No." His signature Peeta grin smothers his face.  
"The real reason I was awake is that I have been thinking…"  
"About what?" He wraps his arm around my shoulder and the unexpected warmth that runs through me tells me I made the right decision in not shooting him. I allow him to keep his arm around me and lead me to one of the sitting rooms. I feel guarded but I remind myself that Prim told me not to peruse Gale. _She always liked Peeta_...These thoughts only make me miss having my little sister around even more.  
Peeta takes a seat across from me at a small table. His blonde hair bounces as he looks around the room.  
"Peeta, do you want to explain why you want to talk to me, after earlier?..."

"I heard you yelling about Gale in your sleep. But what I'm about to tell you I just want you to know... I don't expect you to say it back or to even consider it. But Katniss Everdeen I _love_ you. Ever since I was five and heard you sing the valley song, I have been a goner. I wanted you to know that before you make your decision to run away from the interview with...Gale. Katniss…I have a plan too. But I want you to be happy. So if that means running away with Gale or hearing my plan…I don't know…"

* * *

My mouth is gaping open and I can't believe all that Peeta just spewed out at four in the morning. I thought I was going mentally insane. In fact I was just waiting for the capital to collect me and throw me into some crazy house. So the fact that Peeta still would…"want me" is a bit alarming, yet it sends a bit of warmth through me…

Peeta's forehead has a thin layer of sweat covering it and he looks like he might throw up at any moment…

"Please say something, because I'm starting to think I'm going to puke." He cracks a small smile and fidgets with his hands.

"Peeta I-"

* * *

**What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! What do you think about the direction of this chapter? Anything you'd like to see in Tuesday's chapter? Previews will not be sent out for this chapter, since I'm posting on Tuesday...but I hope you guys are excited for the chapter! Love you guys!**

~Freezethemoment 3


	12. Counting

**Hey Everyone! Back for another update! This one is probably one of my favorites so far, so I hope you enjoy it! I'm not going to yammer on this time...but I do want to say THANK YOU for the reads, and reviews! You all make me smile! Here's the chapter!**

* * *

"Peeta, there-there…there's something. In my stomach. An-And whenever I'm around y-yo-you. I feel something. Small, but still continues to…come back. To show me something. I-I-I don't know what-or how. I just know…something in me…-just. It feels. Right when I'm with you…And when we touch…I-I-I." Peeta's blue eyes peer up at me in some mix of happiness, and uncertainty. I can't tell if it's my stumbling over the words, or Peeta just being the true gentleman he is deep down…but he doesn't rush into anything the way Gale did with the kiss. Peeta just looks long and hard into my eyes. I feel a part of my stomach melts when his eyes lock on mine it doesn't feel strained nor forced. We both take several minutes just to look at each other. Something that I would have thought impossible the day I found out Peeta was coming back to twelve; and now we sit here in the dark room, only lighted by the full moon, just analyzing every last detail of each other's faces. The glare of the moon shines through the lone window and catches Peeta's sparking blue eyes; they look like pools, and reflect like the lake in the woods.

Right in this moment, he is the most beautiful thing I've seen rebuilt from the war. There are still scars in various places on his face, but it looks stronger… We may not be the same seventeen year olds from the first games, but the stress over the years doesn't show quite as evident on Peeta's face as my own. My fingers tremble with each breath I take in, I try to control my nerves, it eventually results in me breaking eye contact and staring down at my feet. When I look back up Peeta hasn't redirected his attention in the least. I can feel my cheeks heating up and I just pray that the darkness of the room has disguised it, because I can feel the blush running up to my ears, and I manage to find a word or two.  
"Sorry."  
"For what?"  
"I-I-I just always do that…I guess I am screwed up in the head." I crinkle my nose in disgust over how crazy and nervous this boy can make me. Without any words, he can send me from confident and ready to kill, to some love sick little girl who can't even hold eye contact.

"You're not screwed up in the head for feeling awkward…You're just you."

I can feel his warmth against my cheek. His hand carefully and slowly moves the stray hairs away and out of my eyes. His face is very close to mine, and I again feel my cheeks heat up. It's barely audible but it's loud enough to send a half smile shooting across my face.  
"God you're beautiful, and perfect just the way you are."  
Those few words have made all the difference. I can't see anything but Peeta in this moment. The fact that Peeta can see all my flaws and scars, yet still call me beautiful and perfect; speaks so much more than any amount of rash kisses Gale has sprung on me.

I am never a rash person. Never in my life have I not thought something through, at least a few times. But in this moment I act on impulse, and only think about it as its happening. I am just able to see Peeta's mouth widens in a cheeky grin, before my lips are pressed against his. My stomach lays flat against the table and my hands cup his jaw, my hand smoothly begins wandering through his wavy blonde hair. After a few more seconds of this, I find myself having to tear away for only a second to catch my breath.  
I rest my forehead on his, and listen to his breathing even out in synchronization with mine.

* * *

"Kat…can I take that as some sort of affection?"  
His amused and humorous grin shines in the moonlight. I just nod slowly and half smile back.  
"Hmm Kat. Doesn't this mean we're back to the star crossed lovers?" He lets out a couple silent laughs and I pull back slightly and give his face a gentle slap.  
"Shut up." I let out a single giggle and stare back into his eyes without hesitation. It's him this time that takes a chance, he leans forward and I close my eyes expecting a kiss, I still get one, but it's a very gentle and cautious peck on the nose. I find myself with that same crooked half smile, that only Peeta has brought out.

I play with his hair for several minutes before there some sort of knock on the door. I begin panicking and breathing hard in fear that it's Gale at the door. Peeta cups my cheek with one of his hands and motions for me to relax.  
"Yeah?"  
Neither me or Peeta hear a response. All of a sudden the door flies open, and a shadow emerges. My heart feels as if it will pop out of my chest. I jump so high that I decide to stay on my knees underneath the table. I open my eyes in fear and I'm face to beak with that stupid piece of crap Haymitch calls Bernard. I let out yet another scream and bump my head on the table. I rub my head in frustration and crawl out from under the table, Peeta helps me up and holds me in his large protective arms for a second. That second would have been endearing if he hadn't been laughing his head off…  
"What's so funny?" I feel a small scowl become apparent on my face. He rubs my cheek with his thumb and kisses my forehead.  
"That goose does like torturing you doesn't it?"  
"I told you so."  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Peeta gives me his bright, and signature Peeta smile. I rest my head on his chest and just let the slanted thing I call a smile spring back onto my face.  
"You know…You let me win too easily." Peeta raises an eyebrow at me and something of a frown pulls at his calm and steady expression.  
"Well, I figured after all the things you've been through…the least I can do is humor you over that "demonic" goose."  
I give a halfhearted scowl and stand on the tips of my toes to rest my chin on his shoulder. I feel his rather large nose nuzzle into the side of my neck. I turn my head ever so slightly and my lips brush his neck for only a second, and uncontrollable chills run through my body. This to me is the perfect moment. I haven't felt safe, even before the first reaping. But in this moment, I feel like nothing in this world can separate me, nothing can harm me, and nothing can taint this moment. Peeta's breathing is so perfectly consistent, that I begin to fade out to sleep. I wrap my arms around his neck to support myself and half smile into his shoulder.  
"Katniss Everdeen, is that a smile I feel?"  
"Half smile, you idiot." I teasingly and soundlessly laugh.  
"Hey, that still counts."  
"Counts for what?"  
"I have started keeping track of the times you smile."  
Normally something that spontaneous and quirky would have sent me into a fit of embarrassment and anger. But coming from Peeta…I find it…thoughtful…almost sweet…  
"How many smiles are you up to?"  
"Seven… Seven beautiful, perfect, and shining smiles."  
Peeta rubs my cheek, it makes that demented half smile appear again.  
"Eight." I let out a soundless laugh and look down at my feet; I subtly wrap my hand around Peeta's and breathe out a small sigh of happiness and relief. Now more than ever is when I realize my choice has been made. But in both Gale and Peeta's mind, the choice favors towards them.

When in reality, there's still a small part of me that truly begins to think that me and Peeta are repairable.

That without each other we would both die, or sink into some depression. But together…we could get through it. That things could be...good, again… That there's a small light of our lives that will never fade to the darkness of the Capital, that there is always a small bright meadow within us. I quietly pull Peeta behind me and lock us into my bedroom.

* * *

"Katniss-"  
"Not in that way. I just don't think I could survive another night of nightmares before interviews."  
Peeta looks down at me cautiously and I give his hand quick reassuring squeeze.  
"Please stay with me." Peeta nods slowly and the exhaustion become apparent under his eyes. I rest my head on Peeta's chest and his large and gentle hand plays with my hair. He kisses the top of my head and I close my eyes for only a second.

"How do you feel about the interviews Kat?"  
"I don't want to do them."  
"I have a plan to get us out of them, if that's what you'd prefer."  
"What's the plan?" I look up at Peeta with big eyes and he takes a deep breath in.  
"It's a long shot, but…I was thinking about possibly just…running. When we are let out of the train in the capital… Gale is being forced to leave the train next time we stop, so rumors don't rise…So what if when we get in the capital we just run?" Peeta's breathing becomes uneasy and he won't look directly at me.

"I think it's worth a shot."  
"You realize I'll be running too…"  
"That's the only reason I'm saying yes." Peeta's smile only gives me the same hunger that I felt on the beach. He leans over and I feel my stomach flip over kissing him. But he "misses" my mouth and kisses me in between my eyes. I just close my eyes and fall asleep to Peeta's breathing and smells.

* * *

Before I can get my bearings I look up and see Peeta is gone. _Surely Gale didn't get to him_…  
I jump out of the bed and run towards the door, it flies open at my touch and I scan the hallway for any sort of blood…I stumble out and find Peeta in the kitchen sipping something out of a mug.  
"Good morning beautiful."  
Peeta approaches me and hands me a mug. I smell the substance and realize it's that drink called hot chocolate. I gulp down several mouthfuls and just smirk at Peeta. He smiles back and kisses my cheek. Though he suddenly gets serious, and takes my hand.  
"Are you sure you still want to go through with this?"  
"Yes. I'm sure."  
Peeta nods and walks in the opposite direction. I look behind me and see his reason why.

"Hey Catnip."  
"Hi."  
He leans forward and I just push his face back.  
"No. Don't touch me."  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"I changed my mind. I don't want this."  
I take in his appearance and see he has a bag thrown over his shoulder.  
"I'm packed. I'll meet you in the capital…wait for me."  
I shake my head frantically, but it's too late, he's out the door and walking away. Peeta peeks his head around the corner and walks by my side.

"We'll be in the capital in fifteen minutes…they are bumping up the speed so we can answer some reporters." I nod and follow Peeta into a spare room. He has his bag and is emptying all the clothes he can find into the one small bag. I don't remember much from that fifteen minutes, I just know the second leading up to when the train doors slide open. Peeta leans down to me and whispers cautiously. "Ready?"  
"Yeah." I kiss Peeta's cheek and turn to wait for the door to open.  
That's when I hear something so loud I feel as if my ears will start bleeding at any moment.

* * *

It's a woman's voice. And it could only belong to the other girl on this train. _Annie_. Me and Peeta run towards her train car, Peeta kicks the door down and we stare in disbelief at our friend.

Annie's forehead is soaked in sweat, her pants are soaked and she is grasping her stomach. She is breathless and yet she can barely stop screaming to yell out four words.

"The baby is coming."-

* * *

**Hey Guys! What did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! Sorry to leave you all on another cliffhanger, but the chapter's words were right at where I cap them off! I am sending previews out this week so leave a review and I'll send your preview out on Thursday! I love you all so much and can't thank you enough for reading! Talk to you all soon!**

~Freezethemoment 3


	13. Everybody

**Hey Everybody,**

**I hope you all still remember me...it's been far too long. I hope you all aren't mad at me. This chapter has been super hard to get up due to my musical nearing performances...Life has been crazy with friend drama and such, but I hope you all had a wonderful holidays! Happy 2013! I love you all dearly and apologize for the long overdue chapter, my computer had crashed and I lost the entire chapter before I could save and I had to rewrite the entire thing! I'll shut up now so you guys can finally read this chapter! Thank you for sticking with me through this "hard to write" time in my life!**

* * *

"The baby is coming."-

I run over to Annie and grasp her wrist with a little more force than I originally intended on.

"He-he-he's…now?!"

Any sort of happiness that Annie's face has held has been wiped away from labor. She comes closer to my face and I begin to think she's dying like all the women did in twelve's poverty.

"Yes! Right now!" Annie yells it so loud in my face that I stumble backwards short of breath. I would have fallen on my back if it weren't for Peeta supporting me. I look up at him expecting to be greeted by caring blue eyes. While I still see all the care in the world, it's not focused on me. Peeta only flits his eyes down to me for a split second before sitting me down in a chair, and running over to Annie. I'm still confused as to why I feel as if I can't move. All I can think about is how me and Peeta were literally about to step out. Into our freedom, and Annie has taken that from us.

The anger that rises in me pounds through my head louder than Annie's screams of labor. Annie hasn't only handicapped our escape plan, but she has managed to ensure any and every member of Plutarch's paparazzi.

_Every member… Everybody focused on the newest Odair._

A sudden strike of energy runs through me and I can't help but jumping from my seat. I take a few quick steps towards Peeta. I clutch his shoulder, and pull him back with me into the hallway. A sickening half smile spreads across my face, I take both of his shoulders in my hands and just stare him in the eyes. His hands cup my face and he just stares at me.  
"Katniss, what is it?"  
"Peeta don't you see? We can run. Right now. The paparazzi will forget us for Annie, just long enough for us to make it out of here in good time."  
Peeta's eyes widen in horror and confusion.  
"Katniss…I know you're not suggesting we leave Annie for Plutarch."  
"Peeta. We were going to run without Annie anyways. What's the difference now?"  
"Because she's our friend. She may be a fighter, but a baby is going to handicap that."  
I can't help how upset I am at this moment. I feel like I've been picked over Annie. That my safety has taken second place in Peeta's heart.

"You're picking Annie! I-I-I hate you Peeta. What am I? Some kind of mutt that you can just play with?"  
I regret my words as soon as I throw them out there. _I don't hate Peeta. I know I'm first on his priority list. How could you even say something like that Katniss_?  
I look up at Peeta and his large eyes meet mine. Instead of forgiveness, I'm haunted by the same pupils that immediately scream one thing…_Attack_. I feel my heart shrink to the size of his pupils and all I can do is stand there defenseless and scared of what my future will hold. Peeta throws his head down and just covers his eyes with his hands, he is shaking and eventually throws his hands against the wall and his screams almost match the pain of Annie's shrieks.

I sink down to the floor and hold my knees close to me.  
_It's going to be okay Katniss. Everything is going to be okay_. Even though I know I'm lying to myself it helps for me to put my mind in a "safe" place. Peeta turns around sharply and his face is a burning red color, very different from his normal pale complexion. Slowly it begins to seem as if the venom clouds leave his eyes. He runs over to me and falls to his knees. He brushes the stray hairs out of my face and puts his face in front of mine.

"Kat. We need to be here for Annie. If it's needed I will give an interview to let you, Annie, and the baby get away. But right now you have to trust me…trust that I will always take care of you. That no matter what it takes, I'll protect you."  
Before I can say anything Peeta has his lips an inch away just looking into my eyes. I tilt my chin up and kiss him for a second, and when he pulls away I take his hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze.  
Peeta and I run into the room where we left Annie and hope she's not too dilated to move her without pain. Annie's entire body is shaking, I walk over to her and pull her hair back to remove some heat.  
"How are you doing Annie?"  
"Third round of contractions have just ended…"  
"Katniss…go get Haymitch. We are figuring something out about these interviews…right now."  
I scramble to my feet and fumble with the door knob, and when the door finally opens I shoot down the hallway on unstable legs. I look around trying to remember where Haymitch's room was and that when I slam into something…or somebody.

"Thank god. Haymitch…Annie…the baby is coming."  
I unconsciously burry my face in his sleeve. Haymitch is one of the only people I know that has always been here for me, he know exactly what I feel at any given moment…or so it seems. He pats my shoulder and walks down the hallway and I follow close behind.

When my feet feel like they are going to collapse on me, Peeta's steady arms catch me. I wrap my scrawny arms around his waist as he kisses the top of my head.

"Thank you Kat."  
I feel my frozen cheeks heat up, I cover my face with Peeta's jacket and manage to mumble out a few words.

"Well I didn't really do much."  
"For the stress you've been under, that was more than enough. Thank you."  
"…Is Annie okay?"  
Me and Peeta's quiet moment has ended before I feel like I could blink, the warm whispers are replaced by Annie's cold screams of pain. I turn my head towards the door and see that Annie is in Haymitch's arms being carried out the door. Peeta gives Haymitch some kind of approving nod and Annie is handed off to Peeta.  
"What's going on?" I pull on Peeta's shoulder, and for the first time I feel like I'm actually being ignored by him. I frown and take a step towards Haymitch, I yank on his shoulder like a desperate child begging for attention. He just shakes me off and continues to make motions towards Peeta. Annie is limp over Peeta's shoulder. I go to yell at Haymitch for keeping me in the dark but before I can Peeta's hand is intertwined in mine and he's pulling me towards the rear exit of the train.

"Peeta, I'm not going anywhere till you tell me where we're going."  
"We're running. Now come on!"  
Before I can question anything my feet are flying through the freshly paved streets of the capital. The sound of my boots hitting against it makes me feel nauseous. But I have to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, not where they are leading me. Suddenly Peeta has stopped and I half run into him. I look up and see a figure emerge from the shadows. For only a second does my heart skip a beat…because when I see the same wide set brown eyes from the second games, I realize it's nothing that's going to hurt me…on purpose anyways.

"Back up brainless."  
I shake my head in confusion and walk back a few feet. Johanna's tan muscular arms haven't faded any since the war, as she lifts her axe. I take this chance to take in my surroundings, there is only a small chain link fence separating the districts and the capital, so as Johanna's axe slams down, it is visible how easily her axe has cut through the fence. I look up at this fierce girl, that has more bravery than I'm sure I have half of, despite the fact that I was the mockingjay. She raises an eyebrow at me and just shakes her head.  
"Well if the mockingjay wants to get away, she better start moving."

My eyes widen in confusion and until Peeta pulls me into the shallow woods. I stare back at Johanna and she just stares back, no indication as to why she wasn't joining us, just a simple wave of the axe in dismissal. I tighten my grip on Peeta's hand and just keep my head down from the memories of the woods. We run for numerous minutes until Annie begins screaming again.  
"Peeta! It's time! Are we there yet?"  
Peeta stop running and snaps his head around. He nods quickly and runs towards a tiny cave. It's even smaller than the one from our first games. Peeta guides me in slowly and lays Annie down against a sturdy side of the cave. I sit beside Annie and hold her hand.

"I feel him Katniss."  
"You feel Dillan coming out?" My hand trembles a little.  
"No…" Annie looks around the cave in awe. A confusing smile spreads across her face and tears begin welling up in her wide green eyes. It's almost as if she can't find the right words to speak.

"Finnick. I feel him in here Katniss! I'm ready now."  
I nod to Annie and wrap my arms around her neck.  
"Then let's bring the newest little Odair out into this world."

Annie's bright smile flashes and she happily nods.  


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~Freezethemoment


	14. He'll Come Back to You

**Hey Everybody...I bet you all don't even remember me...I'm so terribly sorry for such a long wait for the next chapter. With my musical winding down, drama, and school work it was all overwhelming and I didn't have much of a chance to write. But I'm back! And I should be updating every week for the rest of this story! I hope you all understand and I am truly sorry for not updating, but life had to take priority over writing for a little bit...But I'm beyond happy to be back and writing for you guys! I love you all dearly and I hope this chapter lives up to the others that you guys liked...**

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_Annie's bright smile flashes and she happily nods_.

The grasp Annie has kept on my hand begins to send small tingles through my fingertips. I can't help but frown a little from the pain. After so long of being "sheltered" I can't help but question this foreign feeling that would have once been nothing more than a speck of dust landing on my hand… Annie's screams aren't filled with as much fear as before entering the cave, I assume it's because of the feeling of Finnick she claimed to be surrounded in…of course that could just be the side of her coming out that the people of the capital call "crazy" which wouldn't surprise me…after all, look at all Annie has gone through. Peeta soon comes crawling into the cave and puts an arm around my shoulder.

"Everyone doing okay?"  
Even though Annie is clearly in extreme pain from labor, she'd never own up to it, since she always calls Dillan her last piece of Finn.

"It's time. I know it is. It's time to push…right Katniss?"

My face falls slightly when I realize I am the only one that even remotely knows what a birthing looks like. Any strength or confidence in me has faded quicker than I could grasp onto it. My hands become clammy and my entire body shakes like a small animal's. Even though I thought for sure that my legs would collapse on me, I run out of the cave and duck behind a tree, and just sit there for a while. My breathing increases louder and louder until that's all I can hear. My eyes flit around the shallow woods and look for a way out. I hear quiet voices in my head, which only confirms that I am as crazy as the doctors in thirteen told me. But there's one voice that is much deeper than the rest. It's sarcastic, caring, warm, annoying, and so…so…Finnick. Of all the voices to invade my deranged little head…it would be Finnick's. I shake my head and let out an annoyed smile towards the sky.

"Nicely played Finnick." I Hear his booming laugh run through my head…I can't help but try to shake it out but it just keeps going through, relentlessly…Just like Finnick once was.

"Katniss…please tell me you're not serious. You're leaving my Annie in there…with Peeta?"  
"Leave me alone."  
"Since when have I ever done that?"  
"Get out of my head Finnick!"  
"Do you find it distracting?"  
"Ha ha. Not funny. Wasn't even funny the first time."  
"We both know it was. Now go get that scrawny ass of yours in there!"  
Finnick's laugh is even louder this time. I scratch the top of my head and look around. _What kind of sick joke is this? It's like the jabberjays in the quarter quell…_

A golden sun beam shines onto my face for only a brief second, and I hear Finnick's voice one last time rushing through me like the wind.  
"Don't leave them Katniss."

Somehow my strength is back and I feel mentally… "Different."… I walk up and walk with ease back to the cave and immediately rip Annie's pants off.

"Dillan's ready to come out. You're fully dilated."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Annie. Push."  
Sudden seriousness falls over my brain and all that suddenly matters is getting Annie and Dillan safe.

Peeta springs forward and kisses my forehead; I don't bother to look up at him. Instead I guide Annie's hand into his.

"It's going to hurt."

The tears of pain and horror fall from Annie's eyes numerous times in the hour it took to get Dillan out and into this world. He seemed pretty healthy…Though I left the cleaning of Dillan up to Peeta. I couldn't handle all of the blood on sweet little Dillan. I honestly can say I don't remember very much from the labor, or directly after. Things become a little clearer, starting when I was sitting against the cave wall.

Peeta comes and crouches down beside me, I let the hair fall in front of my face and look over towards Annie…Now that Dillan is finally out and into the world, I can't help but stare at Dillan's small body. How could something…or someone, so tiny survive in this huge pain filled world? I feel something large wrap around me and the skip in my heartbeat is inevitable…When see the same wavy hair press against the side of my head I just breathe out slowly and lean into him completely.  
"I'm so unbelievably proud of you Kat."  
"I really don't remember very much of what I did or what happened…"  
"You coached, and conducted the whole birthing of your… "Nephew"…"  
I somewhat shake my head in disbelief at how responsible I apparently was…

Before I can try and detest what Peeta's telling me Annie's barely audible voice is apparent. I am just able to tell that she's saying anything at all.

"Katniss…do you want to come meet Dillan?"  
I look up at Peeta for a bit of reassurance and kiss his cheek. I crawl unsteadily over to Annie's side and look closely down at the small bundle of blankets. Annie's large green eyes flit down to Dillan and she slowly hands him over to me. I honestly wasn't ready to hold this small person, even if I already did "deliver him"… I know the horror must be painted all over my face because Annie just shakes her head at me and giggles.  
"You won't hurt him."  
Before I can realize what's happening, Dillan is in my arms…or the bundle of blankets is anyway, if I didn't know better I would have sworn he wiggled out of the blankets. Annie carefully pulls back a few of the towels and it reveals a very wrinkly pink baby. I have to say, I expected the son of the great Finnick Odair to be a little bit more…I don't know…attractive? I stare deeply down at this thing that resembles a skinned animal and ponder why people call babies such beautiful miracles, other than the fact that they even survived in the womb back in twelve's poverty… I continue to look over little Dillan, I play with his tiny fingers and then something changes everything…

Dillan ever so slightly opens his eyes at me. My breath is taken away by what a brilliant shade of green they are…I have only seen this kind of green inside of Finnick's eyes…but something about Dillan's eyes shine ever so slightly brighter. After only a second or two of looking at his large greens eyes he closes them and appears to fall back asleep. I kiss his forehead. It's a weird feeling for me to like any other child besides Prim or Rue…But Dillan has already taken a very special place in my heart, almost like he took over the place that Finnick left in my heart.

I reluctantly hand Dillan over to Annie and attempt to smile, it ends up only showing halfway but it's enough to make Annie pleased, so I just crawl back over to Peeta and rest my head on his shoulder. After sitting in silence for a little while I put my chin on his shoulder and look up at Peeta. His head is tilted back and he's quietly snoring, I kiss his jaw and he wakes up immediately. He scratches his curls and looks around the cave.  
"Hey"  
"Hi…"  
"Everything okay, Kat?"  
"Yeah…it's just, how long can we hide in this cave?"  
"We can't move until Annie can walk."  
"That could be a while…won't we need food?"  
Peeta's face is overtaken by lack of thought. He smacks his head with his hand and nods.  
"I didn't think this through very well. I'm sorry Kat."  
My stomach grumbles and it does nothing but make Peeta feel worse, I'm obviously not meaning to do that, but I will admit that my stomach is empty, and food sounds really good right now…

"I can hear your stomach Kat."  
"Sorry…"  
"I'm going to the capital to get food. Annie must be hungry too."  
"You're not going back in there."  
"Well I won't let you guys starve."  
"I'll be fine. Stay."  
"Always."  
I curl up beside Peeta and hope sleep will keep me from feeling the effects of my hunger.

I eventually do manage to curl up and fall asleep. When I wake up I roll over and hold my hand out for Peeta's. When he doesn't I lift my head and look around…Peeta is gone, and I know where he must be. The Capital. Horror strikes my stomach and it hurts to breathe, I scramble to my feet hoping to see Peeta standing outside the cave…but my suspicions were confirmed…Peeta isn't anywhere in these woods. He has gone off in search for food… I crumble to my knees and sit back in the cave.

I'm greeted by Annie's wide eyes staring back at me.  
"Were you awake when he left?" Annie nods slowly.  
I'd like nothing more than to yell at Annie. Question why she let him go. Or what the hell she was thinking letting him go into, of all places, the capital. Instead I just go into the corner and sit there. Hoping that Peeta will be okay…that nothing will happen to him. That he won't be widely recognized. I just hold my knees close to my chest and rock back and forth.

_He'll come back to you. He'll come back to you_…that's the last thing I remember thinking before I hear a noise outside of the cave…

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**Hey Guys! What did you think of this week's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! Heads up guys, I think I'm going to try writing next week's chapter in Peeta's POV...What are your thoughts on that? Each of your opinions mean a lot to me, so let me know anything you'd like to see! I should be sending out previews this week for each review! I love you guys and thank you for staying with me in this busy point in my life!**

~Freezethemoment


	15. Meeting Char

**Hey Everybody, I'm back with a new chapter! This update will be in Peeta's POV and will be the set up chapter for the rest of the story! So this is a lot of fluff, but it's needed to set up what's in store for the next update! THANK YOU ALL SO INCREDIBLY MUCH FOR THE READS AND REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL! Here's the update!**

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He'll come back to you. He'll come back to you…that's the last thing I remember thinking before I hear a noise outside of the cave…-

*****Peeta's POV*****

I prepare myself for the things that'll be spat at me when I return to the cave. After all, I didn't even tell Katniss that I was leaving. But isn't this exactly what she did to you in the first games? Leaving without approval…isn't it what was right to do? Maybe you should have left her a note or something. You're an idiot Peeta. But Annie saw me leave so I know she must be starving, and if Annie's health isn't fair, Dillan will never survive…plus Katniss loves Dillan…She wouldn't want him to die, would she? No. She would never want that. So I'm just keeping her heart safe right? I begin to realize arguing with myself is useless, there are far too many things to balance out. Maybe if I hurry I can make it back before she even wakes up. That's what I'll do! I look up and see the shining Capital, and begin to think that it's possible that I could make it back in time. I quicken my pace and I hear my metal prosthetic leg clank against the metal pavement. There are numerous places to eat in the newly rebuilt Capital…but none of which I can afford with the small amount of money I normally carry with me…That's when it hits me. I have absolutely no money on me. I can't use my tittle to my advantage without giving away that I'm well…Peeta Mellark. I hit my head with my fist at my own ignorance. _Great job Peeta_… My eyes scan for anything not so… "Metallic" something that looks like it isn't…Star crossed lover crazed. I fail to find anything remotely along those lines…I wander through the streets with my head down low. It's a miracle I haven't been recognized, but I refuse to take any chances and lift my head. I decide to keep my eyes locked on my foot, and wait until I reach a different part of the capital to find a place to propose my tittle to. Everything was going pretty well until I bump into a small person. It's a little boy with a stained white apron on. I lift him back to his feet and dust off his hands. His light green eyes meet mine and he only has to open his mouth with a smile before I slap my hand over his mouth. I pull him off to the side and into an alley. His eyes are very wide set and filled with excitement, if there was a way to describe it, it was almost as if he were about to pop. I keep a firm hand over his mouth, and begin to think things through about how to explain the current predicament to a child.  
"Ok buddy…I'm going to take my hand off of your mouth. But you have to promise you won't scream or anything like that…Alright?"  
His little head full of dark brown seam hair shakes along with the rest of his head. I cautiously ease my hand off of his mouth and he puffs his chest out. I rub my eyes and think of a way to keep my identity from him…  
"YOU'RE PEETA MELLARK!" I have to slap my hand back over his mouth and shush him.  
"Yeah…that's not important. What's your name?"  
"Well I'm Charzello. But everyone calls me Char. Charzello is definitely not my idea of a good name, but when your dad is from the cap-"  
"Char. Are your parents good people? Willing to help another?"  
"My mom can help you. Come with me."  
He takes my hand in his and pulls me behind him,  
"Gee gawsh, won't mom and dad be surprised when I bring home THE Peeta Mellark!?"  
"Shhh Char…I-I-I…Let's play make believe…until we get to your bakery, I'm not Peeta…okay?"  
"Sure! Do I get to be Finnick Odair?" He flexes his tiny stick like arms and lets out some "intimidating" sound.  
"Okay. You be Finnick, and I'll be Ceaser Flickerman…" I smirk at his name and Char seems to be amused by it too because he gives me a giant half toothless grin.  
"My bake store is right around this corner. But we can go in the back entrance."  
I nod follow Char through the half broken down wooden door. The smell of various breads and meals hit me in the face and taunt my growling stomach. But I try to focus my mind on the current goal. Food for Kat, Annie, and Dillan.

"Mommy! I brought a friend back…"  
"That's nice dear, which one of your little friends is it?"  
A tall slender woman walks out from one of the various baking racks. She is most definitely from the seam…grey eyes, dark seam hair, and a thin frame. Her cheeks are a little larger, obviously from owning the bakery. She obviously makes me think about Katniss, but her face structure is much different. Her eyes widen in the same way that Char's did when he realized exactly who I was. She flips her hair behind her shoulders and runs over to greet me. Her hand extends out to mine and she just holds mine in both of hers.

"You-you-you're Peet-what can I get you Mr. Mellark?"  
"Please, just call me Peeta. And I was actually wondering if you could help me out with a predicament I'm in."  
"Wait…Peeta…aren't you supposed to be preparing for some grand dinner with Plutarch and Ceaser?"  
"You see mam' that's why I need your help…Me, Katniss Everdeen and Annie Odair have been trying to free ourselves from the interviews…But Annie had her baby…and they are safe…but starving."  
The lady rubs her temples and lets out a long sigh. Without me actually asking or saying anything her large grey eyes scan the shop. She runs off without another word and returns with a large bag full of different breads.  
"Listen to me Peeta. You take this food and get away from this place. It's not too late…for you, Katniss or even Annie. I hate the Capital. I'm glad to see their little "show dogs" hate it just as much as I do."

A broken crooked grin sprouts on her face and I rashly pull her into my arms and hug her for a couple seconds. I feel the tears well up in my eyes and I can only whisper a few words. "Thank you." This bag of food has given me reassurance that things are going up from here that things can and are getting better. There's an enormous weight off my shoulders and I can't help but breath out a small laugh of pure joy. I then turn and pull Char into my arms.  
"Well I don't believe you need to be the great Finnick Odair anymore. You've made a title for yourself. The great Char. The little baker that saved the star crossed lovers. Thank you Char. Thank you for saving me and Katniss Everdeen. So when you don't see us with the funny blue haired man on tv…you know that you're the one that freed us. Thank you."

He smiles proudly and then extends his hand and I shake it with a laugh.  
"Wanna walk out with me Char?"  
He nods excitedly, and jumps over towards the door. I'm standing in the alley when he runs back into my arms and wraps his small arms around my legs.  
"Bye Peeta."  
"Bye Char."

He pulls out and locks his eyes on mine. Suddenly there's a large crash from the bakery, I hear a woman scream and Char cowers into my and shakes violently.  
"Did your mom burn herself on the oven or something?"  
I rub his dark, shaggy seam hair. He's very slow to answer me and I bend down and kiss the top of his head.  
"What's wrong Char?"  
"Daddy must have seen the missing bread…"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I gave a loaf to a sick friend one time…he hit me, and my mommy for letting me."  
"Is your father in there now?"  
"He must have come back…"  
I continue to hear the scream of what I know has to be Char's mother. The anger only builds in me, stronger and stronger, and as soon as the venom pulses through my body I don't remember anything. The last thing I remember is telling Char to stay in the alley, that I would come get him when it was safe.

When my vision clears I'm standing in the bakery, my hands are throbbing and Char's mother is shaking in the corner. I look all around and see nothing else but the flash of cameras. It's blinding me and with the exhaustion, that I believe was caused by an attack, I crumble onto the ground. I can't do anything but lay there and let them take their pictures. I stare at the ceiling and all I manage to hear are the paparazzi's words tumbling out. But I can only make out one question before I pass out.

"Tell us Peeta, why did you kill this man?"-

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**Hey guys, what did you think about today's chapter? Hate it? Love it? Let me know in the reviews below! How did you all feel about Peeta's POV? How about little Char? Wanna see more of either? Let me know! I'm hoping to send out more previews this chapter! I hope you all liked it! I also hope you have all been doing well since the last time we talked! I love you all!**

~Freezethemoment


	16. Realizations

**Hey Everyone...Well...I'm finally back with another update. I'm sorry for the wait, but as you guys know I've been through a really difficult point in my life, and when I lost the chapter, it was hard to get back into this fanfiction. But because of all you wonderful readers I'm here to continue this! Alright I'll shut up so you guys can finally read! I love you guys! (This may not be edited quite as well as my other chapters but I was too excited not to upload it immediately!) **

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*********Peeta's POV*********

I open my eyes. They feel so incredibly weak that I'm surprised I'm able to even connect the dots as to where I am. I know for sure that I'm in the remains of a Capital Hospital. There are multiple tubes running into my arms and wrists. My wrists are also tied down to the metal sides of the hospital bed. The room smells of alcohol and something else that I can't quite make out. Suddenly I hear the door open and I feel as if it'll be one of Snow's last followers that lived through the rebellion. Instead I'm greeted by something I can honestly say I fear even more than a follower of Snow… Haymitch. I cast my gaze towards the window with iron poles covering it.  
"Boy. Look at me."  
I hesitate for a few moments before slowing turning my head towards him.  
"What the hell happened back there in that bakery?"  
"Haymitch…tell me. Did I kill that man?"  
"…Kill him? No. Mentally handicap him for the rest of his days? Yea…That you did manage to do."  
I feel terrible about this but a small smirk escapes my lips and I can't help but feel a small sense of accomplishment. After all. I don't want to grow up to be like the hollow shell of a father. My mother beat me and my brothers through the years and my "father" never so much as discouraged her.

"You realize that Plutarch is sure to come after you and Katniss even harder now that you've started this new story. Was it not enough that Annie Odair was pregnant? Now we have the boy with the bread making headlines about a murder all over again."  
"Haymitch. You don't understand. I didn't murder him…He was beating-"  
"Look. I admit. Seeing the bruises on the wife's face made me understand your motives. But Peeta. You and Katniss' safety and privacy means more to me than some damn interview. Yes, I'm pissed you and her ran off the way you did. But again, I understood. Now, I want you to realize. I was right. Because we see where we are back here in the Capital."

I shoot my gaze down towards my wrists. Thinking about all that has occurred. I've literally put myself, Katniss, Annie, Dillan, Char and his mother at risk. When I set out I had three people to protect and keep in my mind. Now, it's almost doubled. The anger builds up higher and higher until I begin feeling something too familiar to me. It's the venom. Snow still manages to make his appearances in my everyday life. Free from his clutches and free from his reign. But it's these moments when the venom pulses stronger through my veins that I begin to realize that no matter how hard I try. No matter how many days I push away the attacks, how much time I spend with Katniss or Annie or baby Dillan. I'm still always just going to be one of Snow's mutts. The same kind of mutt that ripped Finnick Odair's head off. The same kind that almost killed and Katniss in the 74th Hunger Games. I can't run from it. It's always within me. I can't see anything after that except the burning image of Snow coming closer to my face. His voice echoes through my mind like he's beside me. I rip one hand from the restraints and attempt to roll off the bed to figure out where all the mutts are. The ones that killed everybody I loved. I feel something smacking me and it's some sort of mutt. And I can just sense it's the one that killed Haymitch. I punch it several times, until my arm is once again restrained. There's a long sharp tooth or something jabbing into my neck and before I can fight this thing off anymore, my eyes slam shut.

This time its not on my own terms that my eyes shoot open. Something cold splashes onto my face. The first thing I'm greeted by is Haymitch with a fresh black eye.

"Boy! It's got to stop! Are you aware of what just happened?"  
"Not really."  
"You punched me in the eye during a damn attack."  
"I'm sorry."

My chest begins to tighten and an overwhelming feeling of hatred and shame clouds my mind for only a moment. Haymitch rubs his eyes wearily and just looks down for a moment.  
"I know it doesn't happen as often. But I have someone in holding, but you have to promise me you'll be gentle with her. She can't bear to see anything as violent or dramatic as an attack."

I nod slowly. Deep inside I know it's Katniss and that she's going to hate me more than anything. I failed her yet another time. I had one task to bring back food and I failed her. I failed Annie. I failed Dillan. It's all on me and I guess it's time to own up to it all.  
"Haymitch... Let me see her. I swear. No attacks."  
He stares me in the eyes for several minutes before nodding and taking a few steps towards me. He unlocks my wrists long enough just to fasten them behind my back with some metal shiny thing that is obviously capital produced. My legs are weak and as I'm guided through the long narrow hallways with Haymitch I have several doctors stop and look at me as if I'm some sort of animal escaped from the depths of the woods. To some degree I guess I actually am.

My only thoughts in this moment is about how I'm ever going to apologize and make it right with Katniss. Since we've been together, I've felt happier and more complete than I ever thought I could feel after the rebellion and my capturing. A solid glass door is opened for me. Sitting in the corner of an all-white padded room is the same lanky girl with dark seam hair flowing well past her shoulders. I find strength within my trembling legs and run towards her. I collapse to my knees behind her and the tears begin streaming down my scarred face.  
"I-I-I'm so sorry. I-I-"

Her face turns around to reveal a much older and aged face than what I expected and somewhat hoped for. This isn't Katniss. It's Char's mother. Her eyes are swollen and tears are running down her cheeks.  
"Peeta?"  
"Yes mam'."  
"Y-Y-Y-You're the one that put my husband into critical condition? By beating him up in our own family bakery?"  
I lower my head in complete shame and what I know for sure this time is pure hatred for myself.  
"Yes mam'. I-I'm sor-"

She hobbles on her knees over to me. Her hands are also bound behind her back. She settles her forehead onto mine and then shifts it to my shoulder.  
"Thank you. Thank you so much Peeta Mellark." She can barely breathe between each thank you. I cock my head in confusion and kiss the side of her head.  
"I've been wanting out of that "marriage" or whatever that black hole would be called. Thank you."  
"You're welcome?"  
"You saved me. You saved Char. You've done more for my child than I could have ever done for his entire life. You've given him a chance." Her voice drops to a barely audible whisper as she buries her forehead into my shoulder once more…

"Your Katniss. You've given her a chance too by this Peeta. You've given me a chance to finally speak out about something. Something that could free you, me and every other victor."

I jerk my head back in complete confusion of all that has been said to me in only a sentence. I have a lump in my throat and I can barely manage to breathe.

We have a chance?

Something I had never thought possible.

"You need to go now Peeta. They will grow suspicious of what we are discussing, and listening in."

I nod quickly and look around the room to see any sort of recording device that I could smash while I was still in this room.  
"Peeta. I want you to know, Char is a very smart little boy. He helps many people, in all cases. No matter what. He's clever beyond his years, he'll never let me down."  
Her eyes are yelling at me to understand, and to play into this.  
"Char is a very smart boy. I'm sorry for your loss."  
We rest our chins on each other into something that resembles an armless hug.  
"Thank you-"  
"Dillie. My name is Dillie, short for Dilliah."  
"Ok. See you around…Dilliah."  
She tearfully nods and turns back to her corner and I rise to my feet and meet Haymitch at the door.

"I trust you two had a very…deep conversation."  
"To say the least."

**********Katniss' POV*********

I worry for Peeta. How he is holding up in the Capital. The slim chance that he was captured just like in the rebellion. My mind becomes so busy with thoughts about Peeta's safety that it takes me back to both hunger games. I press my forehead until it throbs from the lack of food. But it's Annie and Dillan I worry for more. That's when I hear a noise outside our cave. It's much different than Peeta's heavy tread. I scoot backwards until I'm almost on top of a sleeping Annie and Dillan. The shadow grows closer. I know there's no way to defend myself in here. I'm helpless from my hunger and lack of weapon. I'm either going to be put up as a show dog or Plutarch will get one never dying story of how the Mockingjay suddenly died, with some wild false story to back it up. Instead of a grown man's face as I feared, I'm greeted by a small little boy. His features are subtle and gentle. His light green eyes light up when he makes eye contact with me. His brown seam hair almost sets me at ease. He holds in his hand a large bag of something that smells like bread. He bends down and sets it inside the cave and his perfect little eyes widen.

"Katniss Everdeen?"  
"Yes?"  
"I'm Charzello Gradera. A lot has happened. And I'm supposed to catch you up."….

* * *

**Welllllll hey guys!**

**What did you think about this chapter? Are you excited to hear Dilliah's story and plan? How about little Char making his way to Katniss? Or how about the new responsible Haymitch! I'll start writing the next chapter soon! Send me some feedback if you liked the chapter, what you'd like to see! Leave me a review and tell me all your thoughts! I love and miss each and every one of you! Hope you all have been well! Talk to you soon! (Ps. Previews just might be making their reappearance as well (;)**

**Love your way,**

**Freezethemoment**


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